I went out for drinks with the Formerly Heartless Cows, whom I have MISSED since half of them have been in another kennel, and had a delightful time, but it unearthed a mystery.
Okay. Friend #4 says she was introduced to someone who not only considers herself a Christian, but she cups her elbows in her palms every time she says the word “Christian.” As if she were crossing her arms and protecting her elbows for good measure. And evidently she says the word Christian frequently in casual conversation.
Another person who uses the word Christian? Hot Mom (Friend #2). Hot Dad (Sting Lover) is named “Christian.” So now Friends #2 and #4 have an inside joke and shield their elbows compulsively when they talk about Hot Dad. “So, what did Christian” (elbow palm) “have to say about Happy Hour?”
But, why does this Christian Acquaintance cup her elbows when she says “Christian?”
Perhaps she wanted something like the Catholics have with the Sign of the Cross.
Perhaps she thought her elbows were a temptation to men.
Perhaps all the praying has made her elbows sore.
Perhaps she’s hinting to the Lord that she want soft, smooth elbows.
Perhaps it’s a Masonic thing, like a code.
At any rate, we began to speculate, if Catholic is the Sign of the Cross, and Fundamentalist Christian is evidently the Elbow Squeeze, what would be the Secret Code Signal for other religions?
Caroline volunteered the Protective Vagina Palms as an alternate Catholic sign.
Marcia put the back of her hand to her brow in an Oy Vey Jewish gesture.
Libby made the Jazz Hands of Agnosticism. (Not the Spirit Fingers of Agnosticism. That was right out.)
I went with the Armpit Fart for the Baptists, just to be vulgar and crass, but I suppose the Baptists would Nose Pinch as if they were doing the swim.
11 responses to “Secret Christian Elbow Signal”
I think that’s the Armpit Fart of the Former Baptist. Which I can do readily. And willingly.
That is still frickin’ funny even half a day later.
I’m really looking forward to the next gathering with Hot Dad and a bunch of people who are in on this. How many time will people touch their elbows while saying his name before he notices?
As a recovering Baptist, I can assure you that real Baptists don’t dance. They repent. So repent now for even thinking of dancing.Heathen.
The eyeroll of atheists.
Since I’m still a Baptist I think our sign should be the closed hand over the open mouth of shock. Know what I mean? Btw, I got some excellent brownies today from the FedEx man. Double points for you-I never get visits from the FedEx man!
Fuuny how if they cup the outside of their elbows, they’re hugging themselves, but if they cover the insides, they’re shutting people out. Either way, it fits.
You are sooo funny, I love coming here.I’m a recovered Lutheran…they stand at attention. I am now an Episcopalian and they….OMG this is hard…have processions, wink, and enjoy.
I think I’ve seen the Episcopalian lip purse. I think I’ve seen it every time someone expresses emotion, including religious fervor, inappropriately. But perhaps I have misread.
Everyone (especially Stljoie) – I am not funny. You guys are funny. The Heartless Cows are funny. I just make armpit farts.
I beg to differ. Accusing Oy-Jay of killing your mother was freaking hilarious.