In the Dillard’s shoe department, I handed the fifty-year old saleswoman back her little tiny nylon footies that had become completely shredded by my untended toenails and crusty heels. She said,
“I hope they make condoms better than that.”
All I can imagine is she calls them “foot condoms” in her mind.
7 responses to “Me At Fifty”
Well, in a way, yeah, but don’t think about it too much — in one direction those footies aren’t really that prophylactic, and in the other it’s just plain gross.But, yeah, I can totally see you handing those out at parties, with a wicked wink.
How disgusting! You don’t take even minimal care of yourself? How hard is it to go get a pedicure? You don’t have to do acutally do anything but pay. You sit there, in the chair and enjoy it…that should be right up your lazy @$$ alley. Oh yeah–for a moment, I forgot who I was typing too. The lazy cow that can’t even get a load of laundry done in a weeks time. You’re right, you don’t deserve a pedicure.
I’ve never thought of them as foot condoms, but I rarely use them. If I know I’m going to try on shoes I bring my own knee-highs, if I don’t plan ahead, I usually buy socks or stockings. Or just go commando on the sole!
You told me once that toe porners (pornees?) would come to my site because of a pedicure post. Sadly, much like the ninjas, I’ve not seen them. Maybe they’ll come here and I can live vicariously.
you know, they make things called “finger cots” which are, for all the world, finger sized condoms. so they come in all sizes: fingers, feet, and that in between thing.
I am not sure what disease could not penetrate one of those nylon stockings.They are worthless.
Sherri – Well, there was one GNO when I handed out pregnancy tests. (I had some extras.)Troll – “I forgot who I was typing too.”AmyinStL – Amy! You rebel!Shania – You know, it makes no sense, but toe boys google “toe sex” in summer, not winter, You would think they have enough toes in the summer to satisfy them, and then be horny in winter, but no. So, next month expect the toe boys.Magpie – Ha! The in-between thing!Zayrina – even if the toes are reinforced? I spent all day in open-toed shoes and reinforced knee his, by the way, and no one said squat, not even the woman who was evaluating my cankles.