Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: March 2008

  • Bunnies

    Gary: So, what did we buy at the mall tonight?Me: Well, all that Lush stuff (TWO TRIPS TO LUSH IN ONE NIGHT) and the bunnies.Gary: Bunnies?Me: Uh, the chocolate Easter bunnies?Gary: Oh! Yeah! The Lent bunnies.Me: Easter bunnies.Gary: Yeah. That’s what I said.Me: You said Lent bunnies.Gary: Yeah. For Easter. Me: I thought Easter was…

  • Hempy Birthday, Dear Gary

    Hempy Birthday, Dear Gary

    Years ago, I tried to soothe my tattered cuticles with the heavy-duty hand lotion at left. (SO many years ago that the packaging was just the word HEMP in big bold letters. No affected French, no ironic leaf.) I tried it on in the bathroom at the mall. My fingertips plumped right up. It was…

  • Scattered … Shiroobie … Scattered, Scattered

    This Week In Anderson Cooper Oh, my poor baby Anderson. Here I am trapped with a man who has been wiped out by a cold, while heroic Anderson Cooper is all blase about having his face sliced open because he is a skin cancer survivor. Check him out! “On a personal note, I’ve been off…

  • Bad News, Good News

    Bad news:Arthur C. Clarke is dead Good news:…dead, at NINETY ……after suffering from POST-POLIO SYNDROME (like Mom) ……which he has suffered with since the SIXTIES! By my calculations, this means Mom has another twenty, thirty years in her. (This news was so great I kept it to myself for a day, somehow forgetting to push…

  • The Cask of TeddyJ

    The Cask of TeddyJ

    My lover TeddyJ fed me Boston Cream pie, Krispy Kreme donuts and cookies for Saint Pat’s day. While I’m enjoying the food, the ambiance … well, let’s just say my new office looks like the set of Brazil, what with the conduits hanging down from the ceiling. (“Brazil” was Gary’s take. My first reaction was…

  • Sick bunny

    Zayrina sent this in a comment but it is well deserving of its own post. (Gary JUST insisted I go to the store to buy him soda. Then he admitted he felt fine.)

  • MPGNO

    Gone are the days of the Girl’s Sabbath Out and the Mormon Inquisition Night, now are the days of Multi-Purpose Girl’s Night Out: MPGNO. These GNO’s are more spontaneous and there is less menu-planning. As it turned out, “out” was the operative word. First off, we started … out. Usually, we’ve been celebrating in the…

  • Big Car Dream

    Today when I came home, Gary was already there since he’d spent the day at home with the flu. “One good thing about the flu,” he said, “It gives you the coolest dreams. I had my recurring car dream again.” “What? There’s a recurring car dream? I thought the only recurring dream you have is…

  • Přitulit se!*

    My poor dog is exhausted. Gary has the flu, and the dog is really earning his keep by snuggling with Gary’s sick self. Mac the Dog just trundled into this room and flung himself on the floor. “Jesus. What a baby,” his eyes said. “He’s really bringing me down. Do you still have those pretzels?”…

  • A Day of Musical Milestones

    I can tell the music fervor that ambushed me November 2006 (and resulted in my taking up the guitar the next December) truly is a result of brain damage. Because it hasn’t stopped. Every other hobby stops, but this music thing keeps going. (And incidentally, even though the neurologist dismissed it, the guitar-playing is in…