Hi. I’m Sarah.
I’ve been watching your husband naked in the shower.
I inspected the bottle of Lush Rehab shampoo you bought when some blogger (probably Jammies) convinced you to spend an absurd amount of money on hair care, then I put this sticker on it.
I have been fixing your husband with my playful gaze for some time. He has fallen under my spell. The other day when you bought the Philosophy skin care line because Sugared Harpy and Amalah recommended it (you sheep) Gary said “I think I’ll get some shampoo too.” He got some Sephora Margarita shampoo/body wash/gel stuff for $17. You didn’t care because you use the Be Curly shampoo because Dana from Mamalogues® recommended it. Baaaaaa.
When Gary brought that into my shower and put it next to my empty bottle, I almost spoke to him. Instead, I just looked at him with a slightly more accusing “I know what you did, you naughty boy” gaze.
That is why he told you that things weren’t working out with the $17 shampoo, and he wanted more of ME. Me me me! And then you went out and bought a Forty Dollar Bottle of Shampoo (Lush Rehab! Try it! It’s Great!) because your husband is under my command.
Next I’m telling him to kill you. Just so you know.
18 responses to “Meet Sarah”
Don’t you blame me for Sarah in your shower, missy–I am not fond of Lush’s hair care, just their bath products. Oh, and Sarah doesn’t just inspect the shampoo, she actually makes it. Same with the folks whose pictures are on the bottles of Lush shower gels.
Fortunately, due to an intolerance to things stinky, I mean scented, I have not been sucked into Jammies lush cash vortex. My man remains free off lush too.
Okay, now this is just creepy.
I have no idea what this refers to.
I just about squeeed when I saw the new Lush store at the Galleria. I walked out of there with three bath fizzy balls and one oily soap bar that doubles as a moisturizer. and $21.67 poorer.
Oh, this is cracking me UP!!! I do not have Sarah on my LUSH Big Shampoo. I have Emily, I think. I don’t look at her…I uh, turn her around.
Lush floors me. I wander around in a daze and pick up and smell every single thing. I guarantee every bath bomb you purchase has had my grubby hands all over it. and then I can tell the staff is looking at me, smelling but not buying, so I pretend I’m shopping for a friend and grab a catalogue and that mesmerizes me for a few days. Then I go to Walgreens and buy $1.99 Lander bubble bath and pretend.
Jammies – Okay. Then it must have been Catherine. (sothathappened.typepad.com)Zayrina – Yes, my Lush interest cleared up last year, but it would appear Gary is nursing his inner metrosexual.Sue – She is creepy. And she’s seen us naked.Melissa – Well, it baffled Mom too. See, the Lush shampoo / gel / stinky bath product people put these stickers on their shampoo bottles showing who “made” it. If you’ve had one of their bottles in your shower, then you’ve spent some time looking at Emily or Sarah or whoever.Friend #3 – You squeed? YOU? Didz oo sqwee? Didz ooz? Sugared Harpy – Well, Gary uses Sarah and puts her back so he can see her.TasterSpoon – Bubble bath, bath salts, all those bath things …. no appeal for me. However, I used to say that about the head massages Steve the hair guy gives, and it appears when I am actually stressed a head massage feels good.
Sarah the shampoo slut! Actually I guess she’s more of a high-class call girl wannabe? I dunno…I’d avoid her like the plague if I were you…and make Gary fall under YOUR spell again…
I can’t do the stinky scented stuff. I wish I could, but it gives me headaches and sinus problems. Sometimes it even makes me feel faint. But hey, if you’re in the mood for spending money on frivolities, please head over to my online store:www.myworldsastage.etsy.comThere are no smelly items, but some funky ones.
Hush, you.
Autumn – She’s a vixen. Look at her with her sly ways!KC – I went and I tell you, if I used bookmarks I would get those.Friend #3 – (ooooz a widda bidda bebe)
Hey, I didn’t know there was Lush Rehab! I totally need that because one more trip to Lush and I’ll have to dip into my saving for a house fund this month! Wait, they don’t make you use Wal-mart brand soaps and shampoos do they? Nevermind, I’ve decided I’ll just rent for the rest of my life so I can be all sudsy and happy!
Amy in StL – Ha! Betty Ford Lush Rehab Clinic!
You crack me up. (I probably shouldn’t tell you about Redken’s Soft Curl line then, huh?)
Dana – (Hi, Dana – everyone turn around and wave at Dana) – I like the Be Curly smoothing cream stuff … I’m sure it has a name. Don’t turn me on to more Hair Crack, you Hair Crack pusher.
I’ve never heard of Lush shampoo, but my inner teenager is going to google it now. Can I get the one that George Clooney makes though? I mean if I have to have someone looking at me in the shower…?
Candy – Well that’s a plan for an Etsy shop. Shower stickers of George Clooney smiling knowingly.