Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: July 2007

  • You Can See It Coming…

    You Can See It Coming…

    So, for MONTHS now Jesus Christ’s Blog has had 13 subscribers, and I have had 12. Then I wake up today and he has 12! I thought I saw my opportunity. I cackled satanically. “If I drop Jesus, then he’ll have 11 and I’ll have 12. I will win!” And I would have Alt-Print Screen…

  • In Which I Get Gas

    This is the second day Gary’s been out of town, and the first day I celebrated my freedom. I came home, just like the night before, ready to wait out another night of Garylessness. At about eight I thought, “I could eat dinner.” (pause) “I could eat anything I WANT for dinner.” Then I began…

  • ZZZzzzz-wha? Huh?

    In the past few days I have slept. I have slept so much that I have restored the energy I wasted (“wwaaaassssted…” she hissed for emphasis) on the Super-Secret-Oh-Yeah-You-Are-Dead-Sucker Project. I slept so much I was able to make a list of things to do. Before that, yes, I was too wiped out to even…

  • Gary: Paranoid? You Decide.

    1.) A few weeks ago, after Gary had his falling out with Hardball anchor Chris Matthews, Chris closed his show with an editorial comment along these lines: “I thank all of my listeners for sticking with me. I know there are a lot of news shows out there, and sometimes it’s hard for me to…

  • The Guster CD arrives!

    So, my new Guster CD arrived. This one was Goldfly. It’s one of their older CDs. You can tell it’s older because all the song titles are spelled out. (Just in this week’s People, pgs 41-53 refer to “Since U Been Gone,” “When I See U,” and “Nothing Compares 2 U.” What R U trying…

  • A Big Thank You To My Neighbors

    Thank you to all the neighbors in my community and all the communities along the horizon for the amazing pyrotechnical displays this evening. Thank you for purchasing said fireworks at the entirely legal fireworks stands in our county OUTSIDE of Saint Louis. Thanks to all of you for acquiring your pyrotechnical licenses this year, because…

  • In Which I Cower in Fear

    In Which I Cower in Fear

    I’ve been trying to be a little more fearless now that I am in my dotage. I don’t want to end up like Gary’s sister Karen, who just today sent this email: “Can you both make it earlier at mom and dad’s tomorrow on the 4th. Around 12noon. We are trying to miss the late…

  • Stupid clients leaking over into other areas.

    Stupid evil clients: Do not observe holidays.Do not observe weekends.Do not care that my marriage is sucking at a greater and greater velocity.Are inarticulate. Yeah, I said it, my marriage is sucking. Just for me, not for Gary, evidently. It should not be this hard after 22 years. I feel like we’ve been married two…

  • Stupid clients.

    Why are we here at work Sunday? Because our clients cannot articulate what they want. Check out this Change Request: “Some of the words on this page is [sic] wrong.” To top it off, every word is exactly what they gave us.