Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: June 2007

  • Chicago: The Concert

    Chicago: The Concert

    I love mistakes. I love awards shows, I love live TV, and I love outtakes. I also loved the BNL concert Monday night, though it was rife with mistakes. Rife. Delightfully rife. God made the first mistake. It rained, but we did not care. A few days earlier BNL had taped a special for PBS…

  • In Which I Welcome the Swedes to the Midwest

    At O’Hare last night, I was waiting for Gary outside the men’s room. Am airline attendant wheeled up two Swedish people and let the man get up to go to the bathroom. I am assuming they were Swedish, the conversation between the two of them sounded vaguely Swedish. “I go too,” said the woman to…

  • Our Most Recent Fight

    Our Most Recent Fight

    Conflict:Between the hours of seven and nine Friday, Gary said several thousand critical things. He was cranky because the AC is out, so we went shopping at the nearest mall with AC. We were in Hot Topic looking for a backpack for him. He wanted one that matched his frayed Army surplus one from 25…

  • Spoiling the Mood

    It really kind of spoils the climax of The DaVinci Code when your husband yells at Tom Hanks, “She has viable eggs! Impregnate her!”

  • In Which the In-Laws Review Seventies TV

    At one point Gary was able to force his eighty-year old parents to bend to his will and bought them a DVD player. Every holiday since then they have been given DVDs. For a time, Gary tried to get them movies. Then we would be forced to hear the S_____ movie reviews. For example, they…

  • In Which Gary is an Action Hero

    Last night as I was trying to sleep Gary grimly announced from the bathroom, “Ellen. Come into the bathroom. Now.” I came in, ready to take my tongue lashing about how I put the toilet paper on the roll backwards. Instead, I was a silent audience to this: “Look! It’s a bug. Look at it.…

  • Catholic Marriage Discussion Guide

    Our Question Today: How Accurate is the Catholic Marriage Discussion Guide at predicting marital discord 22 years later? If you married a Catholic, you may have been administered this test by the Church. You were asked a series of questions. Then your answers were evaluated to see if you agreed with each other, and more…

  • Enh. Big Freaking Deal.

    Gary asks this morning, “So, do we have any plans for the big day?”“Big Day? What big day?”Gary waits expectantly. Then, “The big day tomorrow.”I look at him blankly. “Tomorrow is June … mid-June … Juneteenth? Flag D–” Big gasp. “Oh, no, our anniversary! Hon, I completely forgot.”“Yeah, my mom called to remind me or…

  • Four Down

    Some time ago (okay, half a year ago) I listed the

  • Breaking Terrorist News!

    Breaking Terrorist News!

    Here’s Ali al-Marri, suspected terrorist. The Bush administration cannot use new anti-terrorism laws to keep him locked up indefinitely without charging him. Look at this man. How long was he locked up? He has a mullet!