At one point Gary was able to force his eighty-year old parents to bend to his will and bought them a DVD player. Every holiday since then they have been given DVDs. For a time, Gary tried to get them movies. Then we would be forced to hear the S_____ movie reviews. For example, they thought A Christmas Story was (wait for it) boring! I don’t know what else they said because Gary and I were running in circles screaming and clutching our heads. Perhaps they expected it to be the Story of Christmas, Tennessee Ernie Ford’s “crowning achievement.”
Our next movie attempt was That Darn Cat, ultimately rejected. They got as far as the scene in which some disrespectful child wipes his hands on the curtain, and Wilma was out.
Finally, we hit pay dirt with The Long Long Trailer, which led to the revelation that the S_______s have never seen I Love Lucy. (Or as my little Peruvian neuropsychiatrist likes to say, “Who is Loo-cy?”) This would make more sense if you had ever seen Wilma enter a room in which the TV is on. She snaps that TV off like a fresh green bean. TVs “make her nervous.”
So we bought them some I Love Lucy DVDs because you know, they almost never air that show that on television. They loved them so much we got other “rare” “cult” titles like The Dick Van Dyke Show, Mayberry RFD, and Gomer Pyle. They loved them all. Then we branched into the color era: The Mary Tyler Moore Show, That Girl. I think Wilma especially liked this “unhappy career woman” genre. She was crushed to hear they haven’t made a DVD of Rhoda.
Some series were deemed unacceptable. The Munsters? Too scary. Didn’t see the humor in it, evidently. They didn’t like Green Acres, either, because “pigs can’t talk.” This, I grant you, is true. Since they like cinema verite, I am happy we never bought Bewitched. Which, in addition to the terrifying premise, features one of Satan’s minions.
This is why I hold out little hope for the Father’s Day gift: Season One of The Addams Family.
6 responses to “In Which the In-Laws Review Seventies TV”
Ellen, I love your blog! I literally LMAO every time I read it. The in-law quips are priceless. Keep ’em coming.
Gee, I would have thought them a shoo-in for a John Wayne gift set.
Laura – Hey! I know you! Or at least I know your del.icio.us link when it shows up in my stats. Glad you said Hi.Take care of your ass.Sherri – John Wayne? Nope. Not a comic. Too much death and shooting. In fact, Wilma was concerned F-Troop might have too much violence. And guess what. The Addams Family went back based just on the amount of black clothing on the cover. I don’t know how they survived my niece’s Goth phase.
Sorry I haven’t commented yet. I’ve been too busy running in circles and screaming over the fact that your in-laws consider “A Christmas Story” BORING. NOOOOOOO! It’s the Best! Movie! Ever! What we need to do is concoct a ACS drinking game in which we do shots every time someone says “Ralphie.” Oh, wait – the movie’s director, Bob Clark, was killed by a drunk driver in April. (Sob!) No drinking game for that movie, then.
Wow. I guess your in laws can’t watch any movie filmed in black and white because of the black clothing thing…Otherwise “Holiday” would be about perfect (Hepburn and Grant, what’s not to love?)
Catherine – I KNOW! Gary and I were walking out the door at Mom’s years ago when we saw that for the first time. I think we sat down on the floor immediately and watched the whole thing with our coats on.Sherri – Hah! True. I didn’t think about that – why didn’t Laura Petrie’s black capris offend them then?