Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: June 2007

  • In Which I Take Another Unpopular Stand

    I liked the ending to the Sopranos. It has been mob weekend with mia famiglia. I rented the Godfather Parts One and Two. Part One had a satisfying ending, and of course Part Two ends with Michael’s family relationships destroyed. After I saw Pt 1 and half of Pt 2, I was thinking what might…

  • In Which I Take An Unpopular Stand

    I feel sorry for Paris Hilton. Not because she went to jail, because she did break the law. But because they put her in jail, then sprung her from jail. Then they said she could teleconference in, then they came and got her into a police car. Then they said she had to go back.…

  • In Which Two Old Movies Touch Our Lives

    Part The First: Wizard of Oz So. I saw a Munchkin today. I was at lunch in Westport with Friends #2, #3, #4, Mr. #4., and #3s baby niece. Suddenly Friend #3 (Marcia ‘Wanzenknicker‘) leaned in and said “Isn’t that one of the Munchkins?” I looked at a short man at a nearby table. I…

  • In Which Gary’s Heart is Again Broken

    I hear Gary yelling from the other room, “I CAN’T LISTEN TO THIS IDIOT ANYMORE!” He announces, “That IDIOT Chris Matthews is interviewing Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck! What does he know? He’s just a pretty-boy actor!” Gary is jealous.

  • In Which the Queen Mother Teaches Me About My Heritage

    In Which the Queen Mother Teaches Me About My Heritage

    Previously: I refer in the last post to my German Grandmother, Granceil DeWolfe. My Mom slaps me down in the comments: “Your grandmother is French. Gary’s people are German. Remember she sang the French national anthem to you? Would a Kraut know it? “ I respond:“Dear Queen Mother –Are you on crack? Are you a…

  • In Which we Live the Life of Our Mom

    When I was young, but still old enough to attend to myself in the hours after school but before my parents came home, Mom would come home and ask: “What did you do this afternoon?”“Nothing.”“You must have done something.”“I watched TV.”“Oh.” (pause) “I mean, what productive thing did you do today?” She got it from…

  • Guest Post of the Week #2: Muhammad’s Cool Blog

    Guest Post of the Week #2: Muhammad’s Cool Blog

    Hi. I’ve been reading Jesus’ blog religiously (ha!) and I thought it would be good if Muhammad got to have a blog too. Hi! I’m Muhammad, nice to meet you. I’m thinking of starting a blog, like Jesus, but only with more sex. (I was married here on earth. LOTS.) Jesus is a great guy,…

  • Guest Blogger Speaks Out (Marcia ‘Cohen’, friend of Moses)

    Ellen says: several hours ago, I attended a viewing of the CNN Democratic Debate at Marcia’s house. Some of you may remember Marcia as my Friend of The Jewish Persuasion. I asked her to contribute as a guest blogger. Enjoy her typos. Democratic Debate: $74/month for cable Vanilla Vodka: ?? Frangelica: ?? Sugar and Lemons:…

  • Jesus Loves Me, This I – Oh, wait, no he doesn’t – UPDATE: wait, yes he does

    I left a comment on Our Lord’s Cool Blog on Thursday. And now it’s gone. Jesus deleted my comment. I think he might have followed me back to this blog and saw that I am an International Toe Porn Star. So, Jesus doesn’t listen to the prayers of International Toe Porn Stars. Sigh. Well, it…

  • Health Update

    As of today I have started with a new insurance company. This means my drugs will now be $150 a month instead of $400. Gary can go back to tipping five dollars for a seven dollar plate of food. As my parting shot to the evil former insurance company, I went to the neurologist on…