My dental appointment to get a temporary crown was today at seven AM. Ante Meridian! Sevvvvvvveeeeeeeeen! My plan was to be half asleep and snorting the nitrous. This required that I get up and out in a very short amount of time. As it happened, was there at 6:45, a quarter-hour even less ante the meridian than I expected, because I used my speed-dressing technique.
Night before: shower
Minute one: wash face, brush teeth.
Minute two: Brush again out of respect for the dentist.
Minute three: Wipe makeup on face, except for chin, because the dentist will just mess that up.
Minute four: comb hair. Dentist will destroy this too.
Minute five: Put on gel antiperspirant and (and this is the genius part) use the blow dryer to dry it.
Rest of day explain that you just came from the dentist and that is why you look like hell.
(And for those who say, why not just put on the antiperspirant first, there is no way it would dry in under five minutes.)
8 responses to “Speed Dressing”
The strap mark on your face from the nitrous was a lovely touch. 😀
What the hell bastard dentist takes appointments at 7 in the morning?! I don’t understand that AT ALL.
I know, but the assistant said, “Well, we have seven a.m.” in such a snarky bitch voice — as if to suggest “YOU couldn’t HANDLE seven a.m.” that I had to take it.
That sounds like my normal morningtime routine. Except I don’t wait for my get ANTP to dry. and I wipe no make-up on my face. Somewhere between 29 and 30, i just stopped caring what people thought I looked like. Isn’t that a sign of depression?
I think it’s a sign of self-confidence.
I just got a temp crown two weeks ago and am waiting to get the real deal. They all suck, taking appointments that early-my dentist does it too. What makes my crown situation even better though is that I received a lovely letter from my insurance company last week suggesting I visit another dentist…in the network. Whoops:)
Ouch! That hurts in many ways.
You’re amazing, doing your morning rituals in just 5 mins. That must be a record! LOL! I hope you had a nice time with your dentist.