Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: March 2007

  • Data Breakdown

    Data Breakdown

    Okay, so I decided to copy my Typepad stats into Excel and and do some data analysis on what types of hits I’m getting. These are my results: In the last few days, the top three ways people have come here have been: In search of toe porn, looking for xxx hot sexy toes!Me! Looking…

  • A Haiku for My Dog, In Case of Thunderstorms

    Thunder came beforeYour ancestors went soft. DoDingo dogs do this?

  • Tae Kwon Bo

    So, since the neurologist slapped me into an MRI for my “balance issues,” I have been paying careful attention to my balance. Generally, I pay the most careful attention when I lose my balance and fall over. This has only happened twice in the last two weeks: once as I was demonstrating to Mom the…

  • Oooz a Widda Bidda Baby?

    Two things have I found. 1) You can never pay Gary enough compliments.2) You can never give Gary enough sympathy. Poor baby had his first root canal today. I thoughtfully have never had a root canal. If I were to have had a root canal it would spoil everything, because Gary would have had to…

  • This Post Brought to You by the Letter B

    This Post Brought to You by the Letter B

    Time for an Update Post, all about the letter B. B stands for… Bladder Infection – This last Monday, two weeks after I woke up with my bladder infection, I got a call from my general physician’s office. “Mrs. S________, your neurologist’s office sent some test results showing you have a bladder infection!”“Yup.”“And, does this…

  • The Return of the Mormons

    Some of you may recall that Gary’s Virtually Unknown and Surprisingly Mormon Uncle died this past year. Gary didn’t know him that well. He sent his Aunt (Ken’s sister) a fruit basket with a thoughtful note: “Have something to eat, you’ll feel better.” (I swear this is true.) The healthy fruit did not make her…

  • Imaginary Conversations

    I have concluded the reason my in-laws communicate so poorly is that after every real conversation, they have an extra extended imaginary conversation. Within minutes, the line between delusion and reality becomes blurred and they believe the imaginary conversation has taken place. ————————————————————————For example: Real Conversation #1 –Gary: Can I bring anything for dinner Saturday,…

  • Overkill

    Last night I found Gary standing behind the kitchen counter eating a chocolate bunny. Gary was listing decidedly to the right. He was at least thirty degrees off-center. In addition, his left leg was extended like a ballerina to prop his left foot up on the counter. Naturally, his head was tilted at almost a…

  • Birth of the Blues

    When Mom was recovering from some lung / back surgery that further impaired her iron-lung-weakened pulmonary system, she bought a harmonica. She thought it would help her exercise her lungs, especially since it came with a neck rack that let her use it hands-free. Because you know, her arms do not have great range since…

  • No sex, no drugs, no rock, no roll

    Gary and I were talking tonight about how we both somehow missed out on the drug scene when we were teenagers. Neither of us smoked pot; in fact, I don’t think either of us were ever even offered pot. I think we’re saving that experience for our senior years. (Gary’s only recently discovered alcohol. He’s…