Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: January 2007

  • Too Much TMI to Even Get a Title

    If I knew how to do it I’d ask you to send a naked photo of yourself before you could click the link here because this post is so far beyond TMI that we need to be on an equal footing. No, no actual nude photos, but very bad mental images. Continue only if you…

  • An Unretouched Photo

    An Unretouched Photo

    My hair this morning: How many photos I had to take before I got one that was an acceptable level of hideousness: 12. This one actually makes me look good. Look at the gravity-defying hair! It leads your eye toward the stencilling on the soffit. The sheet crease on my cheek vanished after a few…

  • Not As Sad As It Seems

    Not As Sad As It Seems

    So, this upcoming cruise and the convergence with Mom’s doctor appointments is making me think of the cruise I took about ten years ago. The story starts about a week before we were scheduled to cruise to Jamaica (et. al.). I woke up and my feet were asleep. The next day my feet were asleep…

  • Mice

    Someone I know has mice. Since Gary and I were able to survive The Great Mouse Infestation of ’87, we feel we can give advice. Got mice? Consider your options, one of which is glue traps. 1. Glue traps. Why? The mice really suffer, and after your husband sweetly buys Humane Mouse Traps for the…

  • Milestone Birthdays

    Arhan-fay turned 21, and Arzaana-fay turned 16, so they came in town from KC and were feted. Arzaana-fay had asked for a “MP3 player, nothing expensive, nothing fancy.” So when Gary started talking about getting her an iPod Nano I quoted the “nothing expensive or fancy” back at him and showed him the documentation. He…

  • Naked to Mine In-Laws

    Oooo, boy howdy. Are we in trouble. Gary and I are going to Hell. Catholic Hell. Charismatic Catholic Hell. Gary’s Mom is condemning us to C.C.Hell because of the nudity issue. The nudity we will embrace on the BNL cruise. See, Gary told them of the nudity on the heels of their daily downer phone…

  • Whooohoo! Bring on the Army of Clones!

    I get dibs on a Clone Soldier: https://www.rutgers.edu/news/stem-cells-amniotic-fluid-rutgers-expert

  • Mail Ego

    Ah, the fuss. The President wants a signing statement to allow the government to open my first-class mail. On the one hand, this doesn’t bother me because no one sends me first-class mail about personal things, like, which vibrator has won my heart this week. I save that for the Internets. On the other hand,…

  • Weekend Update 2

    Once again, in lieu of activities, I can only give you an update on past activities. Nudity: Gary went from shaming me about my body out of a perverted sense of loyalty (“Honey, your body really isn’t fit enough to be out in public”) to bemusement to wholehearted acceptance of the idea. He will be…

  • Sniffle

    In my youth, I was known to (on occasion) weep. And I was not a good weeper. I did not melt men’s hearts. I’m the type men laugh at because I get the red nose and red eyes and giant blubbery lips with spit bubbles in the corners. Oh, and the copious uncontrollable snot. At…