Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: December 2006

  • What Your CD Purchases Say About You

    Yesterday, I was speaking with Ed – Ed, if you’re reading this, don’t try and delete this post. I know it embarrasses you, but technically it embarrasses me more, even though we all know I cannot be embarrassed. – [Ed] (as in Editor, not as in you, Ed.) – and we were talking about music.…

  • Follow Me, My People

    Bloggers Who Have Followed My Lead and Become Sick Over the Holidays: Sarcomical Crunchy Carpets Wolf Woman Karaoke Diva LuckyBwayGirl MightyGirl mmmmm, Brains Mom SoTheFishSaid Who did I miss? —- UPDATE: Moose was too sick to even post and complain about being sick. And Judibleu.

  • ER

    The Queen Mother has been having episodes of ill health that last for a few moments and then pass. She has been trying in vain to pique a doctor’s curiosity, but doctors are bored by this. One would think they’d be excited at least by the prospect of their own eponymous disorder. So, Mom’s spells…

  • Damn, and I Never Got to Have Dinner With Him.

    The niece sent me one of those pre-teen questionnaires a few years back, which included this soul-revealing question: “If you could have dinner with any historical figure, living or dead, who would it be?” “Totally Gerald Ford,” I wrote back, sealing myself as the Top Dweeb of All Clueless Aunts. And I still say Gerald…

  • Old Fish, New Fish, Pink Fish, Blue Fish

    The Dr. Seuss title is misleading. This is another post in the saga of my never-ending seach for personal entertainment devices. Yep, Mom, this IS the one you told me not to post.

  • Christmas Food

    I have discovered the most amazing restorative food. I was shopping with Gary and I was wiped out. However, we went to the California Pizza Kitchen and got a salad topped with these remarkable things called vegetables. And I felt better after I ate it! They remind me a little of something I must have…

  • I’m sorry Gary, I’m afraid I can’t do that.

    A sample of our current car conversation: “Gary, you’ll need to turn right up here.”“Right? Are you sure?”“Yes! Turn right! Here!”“Where?”“There! At that last turn!”“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ah, but now Mom has purchased the most brilliant Christmas gift Ever, a car GPS system. So now Gary will argue with the implacable disembodied GPS…

  • Nekkid!

    I have surprised myself. In my youth, I was very modest. Any sweater I wore had to be covered by a jacket to hide the sheer boobaliciousness. Until I was in college the number of people who saw me naked could have been counted on one finger. (And that one finger, my Mom, just thought,…

  • The Comment that Grew Into a Post

    I would like to thank Vaguely Urban for hijacking my thoughts and energy over the past week. She pointed out that the lyrics to “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” refer to “scary ghost stories,” and that her family traditions don’t involve ghost stories. There’ll be scary ghost stories And tales of the…

  • In Which I Use the Thesaurus

    (My goal is to make it through this post without using one of my favorite words, a word Gary has decided is too base and common (and coarse, and vulgar) for me to continue using. ) During my recent visit to the ER, I was shocked to see two teenage prostitutes. I don’t think I’ve…