The niece sent me one of those pre-teen questionnaires a few years back, which included this soul-revealing question: “If you could have dinner with any historical figure, living or dead, who would it be?”
“Totally Gerald Ford,” I wrote back, sealing myself as the Top Dweeb of All Clueless Aunts.
And I still say Gerald Ford would be the primo dinner companion. Get him drunk and ohhhh, the seeeecrets. “Gerald!” I would tease, “Really, couldn’t anyone on the Warren Commission draw a straight line? A magic bullet? What was the real story?” And he would tell me, because: a) I would have already told him all my secrets and he would trust me, b) he would be drunk, and c) he seemed like a pretty upfront kind of guy. I remember one interview he gave about Jack Ruby’s claim from prison that he’d been set up. The Warren Commission had to trundle down there and listen to his claim. The interviewer asked Ford what he thought of this new information Ruby had given them. If I recall correctly, Ford leaned forward with alarm and answered, “That man is crazy.” Or words to that effect. He even looked a little scared, as if saying “Who had the bright idea to lock congressmen in a cell with a crazed killer?”
Plus I can’t imagine he fell ass-backward into the presidency without having some clue of the subterfuge that got him there. There’s a memoir. There’s a posthumous memoir. I hope it’s in a safe-deposit box somewhere.
Oh, and then I’d say, “Gerald. Gerry. Gerr. What’s up with this FBI informant who tried to kill you? I can see Squeaky Fromme after you, but what’s the story with Sara Jane Moore? That is, what’s the real story?”
I remember driving around with my Dad during the Ford presidency. We stopped at a stop light and Dad began laughing. He pointed to a car with one of those bumper stickers that read “Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him.” I mean, how could Gerald find himself in that situation and not just find it a hoot? I bet he did. And now I don’t get to have dinner with him, ever. Feh.
9 responses to “Damn, and I Never Got to Have Dinner With Him.”
Hah! Cute entry. “That man is CRAZY!” might have to be my catch phrase for the day.
You are hilarious! Thanks for blogging these last few months, I do SO enjoy it.
An honorable politician? In his case, maybe not entirely an oxymoron after all.
Still and all, he has absolutely ruined my upcoming long weekend.
He still has that “Y” chromosome. I have no doubt that if you spent any prolonged amount of time with him, he’d reveal his tendency toward the thick-headed pigness that all men possess. Not that I’m bitter. Just jaded.
Reminds me of my favorite crazy man comment, “The man’s nuts, grab ’em”.
Gerald, I hardly knew ye, but you stumbled upon the tarmac like a true leader. RIP.
A fine president, he was. Even with Cheney and Rumsfeld in his administration.Bless his heart.
If only he could have danced like James Brown, think of what his funeral would have been like.Judith – “The man’s nuts, grab ’em” – made me laugh.All – then again, maybe he was just our Transitional President after the President who dumped us. I will never know.