Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: December 2006

  • Some Bands Never Die, They Just Shorten Their Names…

    Some Bands Never Die, They Just Shorten Their Names…

    This past year, Google felt my blog was the place to be for the Eighties Hair Metal Band “Fingering Husband’s Rectum.” Judging by my comments, I feel I am probably FHR’s second biggest fan, with the estimable Catherine as the President of the FHR Fan Club. I’ve been keeping an eye out to see if…

  • meme Du Holidays

    From Ill Communication: 1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? — Luckily for me, I think Egg Nog is vile. Luckily, because I’m allergic to raw eggs. And I think it contains raw eggs. Doesn’t it? Nothing else could account for the vileness. 2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree— Santa…

  • Hey, so, how was YOUR evening?

    This one, it has profanity. Just a little bit, but it is key to the plot, so if you are not offended by profanity, then click on ahead.

  • Snot

    Of the very few things that have made me laugh during this cursed week, I list this comment made by the mysterious “boots” on Vaguely Urban’s Kleenex Post: “Q: Is that Kleenex clean? A: It’s not.” Classic. I’m been living this week through a veil of mucus and it’s made me question all my perceptions.…

  • Who Is To Blame

    So, this morning, as I was puking so violently one eyeball exploded, I thought “I am not canceling this tea party.” This afternoon as I slammed back the last of my daily bottle of Robitussin so I wouldn’t cough when on the phone with Gary, I thought, “I am not canceling this tea party.” And…

  • Granceil

    Have a good Pearl Harbor Day, or as we call it in my family, Grandmother Lucille’s birthday. I was always hugely proud of my grandmother, and when I look back on it it was because she didn’t fit the mold of “grandmother.” She knew enough French to sign my autograph book and swear. She let…

  • The Decline of Civilization

    Every time I have a party there is a time during which I re-prioritize. Usually the day before I think, “I don’t need to hand-embroider a new quilt. The old one will do fine.” That frees up a few good mental hours and relaxes me. This time, though, I’m savaging the Tea Party 2006 Task…

  • I have to let it out.

    Don’t read this if you are my mother, a friend of my mother, anyone I have ever met, or anyone I ever will meet. But…..

  • In Which I Am Full Of Croup

    I have The Croup. Technically, the Doctor said it was parainfluenza, or the adult croup, which crops up every other year. If your child has the croup, I want to let you know what he/she is is feeling. He/she is BORED. Freaking BORED. I’m timing my coughs now like labor pains. This from WebMD: An…

  • And I say EAT ME!

    And I say EAT ME!

    One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. There were other foodstuffs as well, all phallic: There were mood-altering drinks: Marcia of the Jewish persuasion found the lost Tribesmember of North County: …and Robin’s bathroom equals mine: