Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: October 2006

  • Get In Line

    Often, I put one song on repeat so it etches itself into my brain. I can then sing lustily and loudly in the car and be assured I won’t mangle the words, at any rate. Thursday’s song for the day? Get in Line. And can you think of a better song to belt in the…

  • In Which the Mets Experience the Willful Cruelty of the Baseball Gods

    “We barely beat them at the end. Which was exciting.” – Some dude who handed out the trophy.

  • Dear Whitey

    Dear Whitey Herzog, I would like you to come back and coach the Saint Louis Cardinals again, please. Because when you coached and we lost at least it was still enjoyable. Whiteyball! Like, that time we were losing 11 to 0 and you decided to do some completely demented thing like have every single player…

  • In Which My Life Is Measured Out In Coffeespoons

    In Which My Life Is Measured Out In Coffeespoons

    It’s the middle of October. The cold snap and soup weather usually inspire me to begin the obsession which occupies me through mid-December: planning the yearly tea party. My mad tea skillz began early: The invitation is from my fifth grade party: My tea urge lay dormant until 1990, when I had my first annual…

  • I Just Need To Vente.

    I Just Need To Vente.

    Gary just orders a Raspberry Mocha with extra whipped cream and he practically gets hearts and “Mrs. Gary Barista” written on his cup. LOOK AT THIS: You know what mine said? “Fat Bitch wants a cappuccino.” (No. But it was in the body language. And I got no smiley face. )

  • How Deep Is Your Love

    Me: “You yelled that you lost your glasses, then I found your glasses, and then you still yelled at me.”Gary: “Honey, I yell at the Rams; that doesn’t mean I don’t love them.”

  • Drunk yet Distant

    The theme for this week has been “distance.” Not spatial distance, but the type of distance maiden Aunt Carleen advocated if one is a career woman. Some call it isolation. (Some suggest it’s not a great thing. I think I’ve listened to “Everything Had Changed” (finger-snapping genius) about 200 times this week.) Still, I prefer…

  • Reports of His Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

    This refers to 49 Up. I don’t think this merits a spoiler alert. Someone I thought was dead is NOT dead. Some point last spring, I believe, I was reading either Entertainment Weekly or People (or InStyle or Us Weekly. Or Star. (“Or Weekly World News?” you ask sarcastically.)) It was one of those mags…

  • Kiddie Food

    Some foods just take me straight back to childhood.And tonight, I ate Bugles. Off my fingertips, for that is the way Miss Manners says one should eat Bugles. The Bugles are currently hidden in the microwave, because Gary demanded he never be tempted with Bugles again. Bugles take me right back to five years old.…

  • Fridge

    Fridge

    Well, Mighty Girl is working through No One Cares What You Had For Lunch, or its alternative title, What Ellen Posts When She Hasn’t Seen Her In-Laws. Here’s my fridge door: Clockwise from Top Right Corner: Appointment cards for doctors/dentist/sprinkler appointments.Clipping for the times of the Chiluly exhibit at the Missouri Botanical Garden, reminding me…