Whine

(Wine snobs: perpare to condescend.)

To my uneducated palate, beer tastes like flowers and wine tastes like stomach acid. (Or, as one philosophical friend ventured, perhaps my stomach acid tastes like wine.)

There are some wines I like. Those would be the wines that tastes like Welches grape juice. Mogen David. There’s a wine.

I mention this because in the last few weeks I’ve had positive experiences with both beer and wine. There was a happy hour at work (they are really pimping to the proletariat at work; I remember the days we all had to wear close-toed pumps and suits with skirts, now it’s all jeans and happy hours). So I had a beer at this happy hour, and as usual it tasted like flowers, but then I ate pretzels with it. Re-ve-LATION! Beer Is Good With Pretzels. Also salted nuts, which is why bars serve them. I thought bars served them because they were salty and made you drink more.

So armed with the knowledge that food changes the taste of beer and wine, I was open to some wine with the elk. I had my first sip (without food) and it made me laugh. It was quite a surprise chuckle.

“Hah!” I said to the wine.
“I am an amusing little wine.” it said unassumingly.

So that’s what they mean by an amusing little wine? A sip will make you laugh? Are there any big belly laugh wines? Any wines that just will make me wet my pants with laughter after taking a sip? How amusing does wine get? I may have to drink the wine in the fridge. I have been calling them “green bottle” and “Yellowtail.” I’m all into the wine if it’s funny.