Category: In Which We Set Ourselves Up for Mockery

Saturday night I braved the cold and went out to see Eddie Izzard at the Fox. (And by “the cold,” I mean the Mini’s thermometer read -2 degrees, and by “braved” I mean I’m actually noticing my MS is affected by extreme cold. With the heat, I have to be out in the heat for…

I was curled up in bed, a little down because Gary decided to stay at work instead of buying me Christmas gifts, and Gary decided to stay at work instead of coming home, and Gary decided to stay at work instead of any of the other more entertaining Love Languages, and also because Susan Sarandon…

This afternoon, like every afternoon, I drove over my favorite hill. Saint Louisans, if you head west it’s on the Page Extension before the Maryland Heights Expressway. You know it: suddenly the river valley spreads out full of clouds. I hunted for a photo to show you scattered Dots, and eventually got on the (virtual)…

This must be the first year I realized I had no one to memorialize on Memorial Day. I know Memorial Day is the day the pools open, and I remember asking my Dad the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans’ Day (a bit of a life-or-death question). But when it comes to a connection to…

I keep my mouth shut about mothers most of the time, because I’ve never had the urge to be a mother. But, on this one day, I am full up with hearing about Great Moms. Let’s talk for a minute about Crappy Moms. Just for a minute. I know, I know, I’m not a mom;…

Sara from Moving Right Along is gone. Sara almost made you want an artifical leg, just so you could use her helpful tips to avoid “socket farts.” She put water-absorbing body parts in jars and took unflattering photos of herself. And if I ever do lose a leg or get cancer or, fuck it all,…

If anyone ever asked after my mom’s health, Mom would reply, “Just my normal abnormal.” She hadn’t been normal since she was 13 and got polio, so she couldn’t say “I’m fine.” For a while she changed it to “Status quo,” but “normal abnormal” sounded less pitiful. Evidently I’m normal abnormal myself, just mentally, not…

Wilma hasn’t been visiting her husband Ken much as while he rehabs his hip. “He’s in a rest home. I just can’t stand those places. It would be too much for me.” Karen, on the other hand, visits sunup to sundown. The family begs her to stay away since she has bronchitis. “I can’t help…

Update – Ken is out and fine-only crazy cranky! ========================== Maybe bad things happen to us so we know how to behave when bad things happen to others. Gary’s Dad broke his hip yesterday. Karen was at the hospital every minute because she felt so comforted when her husband stayed with her in the hospital.…

I just came back from a cruise, a wonderful cruise. I’ll try to sum up what I liked so much about it. I started every day with Eggs Benedict, just like they do in heaven, spent every day watching some member of Paul McCartney’s favorite band (click that link, ya haters), and ended every day…