I’ve seen this sad story a number of times today. A man needed to use the bathroom, went to the grocery store, found it was locked, and drove his car through the doors, and then — one assumes — used the bathroom. The terse link from NBC above was the least smarmy of all the sources I saw.
I want to tell that man in the car: honey, here’s what you do.
Before you go to bed at night, you eat 3/4th of a cup of Kellogg’s All-Bran Buds. You doctor it with whatever you need. I currently augment mine with 1/4 cup of chocolate-covered almonds and honey-roasted pecan pieces. And half-and-half instead of milk. There you go. It tastes pretty palatable if you eat it before it becomes paste.
For me, doing it before sleep is key. I initially I ate it upon waking, like a normal person, but then I’d have two hours of waiting, and if I needed to be somewhere at 7 I’d have to wake up at 5. Much handier to dose myself at night and sleep through the dreadnought of shrubbery frog-crawling through my transverse colon.
This has worked for about a month now. Tonight I am making baggies of this doctored fiber cereal so that I can take it like medicine before bed in Chicago.