Last weekend Friend 4 needed a tenth at a table for a fundraising trivia night.
Driving in, I thought, “You don’t know these other people. Don’t say anything dirty. You’d just embarrass yourself [and Friend 4].”
I found Friend 4 standing by the silent auction baskets. “It’s all stuff for families,” I complained.
She said “Follow me” and showed me where the sex toy baskets were. One for couples, one for … well, ladies like me. I bid on that one immediately.
I was winning until a few rounds later when I was outbid by both Mike Hunt and Anita Orgazm. (I would have gone with Anita R. Gasm, myself. Because I am subtle.) Dick Gozinya signed up for the couples basket. I had to say “Dick Gozinya” out loud a number of times before I caught on, and then, of course, I collapsed.
To their credit, “Anita” and “Dick” stood up to claim their winnings and they were the strangers at the next table over with whom I had discussed the sex toy baskets, including the person the fundraiser was for. So on the one hand I was glad I wasn’t suckered into a bidding war. On the other hand, because Mike H was outbid by Anita I didn’t get the chance to graciously lose and say, “Mike Hunt needs it more.”