Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: June 2021

  • Love Rival

    Well, my love affair with Honey, the pit bull mix next door, is over. I have a rival, because the couple next door has acquired a black lab pit bull mix puppy to keep Honey company. I came to the fence to give Honey a belly rub, and she was polite, but it was clear…

  • Seven Miles as the Bear Swims

    (I wonder what people say instead of “as the crow files” where there are no crows. Is it “as the kiwi hops?”) (I am actually looking up another way to say as the crow files.) Anyway, there’s a new bear in town, and while they say this bear is in West County, I don’t want…

  • Gary Needs to Have his Facebook Card Revoked

    So this happened Saturday June 26th. The stubbornness. The dogged insistence. But, maybe he could claim he was late because Texas was late? I don’t know. I also don’t know if he will delete the post, or if he will wish us all a happy belated Juneteenth. ==================== Update: he claims that the northern areas…

  • Spam

    The new Caller ID announced, “SPAM RISK.” Gary said, “Spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam,” and then we sang the whole Monty Python song perfectly with the crescendo and all. Only, not. Prepare to have your mind blown. In response to his call of “spam,” etc., I sang, “spammity spam, spammity spam,” and…

  • Sticks and Stones 2021

    I was on Facebook and posted a fun fact about sloths: they are constipated Gary commented: “Babe, you are my sweet sloth.” Awww. I responded with, “No, you’re MY sweet sloth.” Facebook complained, “Your Comment May Go Against Our Community Standards.”   Facebook? I can only guess “sweet sloth” must be some kind of far-right…

  • Sticks and Stones

    Sticks and Stones

    I was on Facebook and posted a fun fact about sloths: they are constipated. Gary commented: “Babe, you are my sweet sloth.” Awww. I responded with, “No, you’re MY sweet sloth.” Facebook complained, “Your Comment May Go Against Our Community Standards.” Facebook? I can only guess “sweet sloth” must be some kind of far-right code…

  • Rewriting the Novel: Back to the Actual Writing

    Theres a rough draft of the first part, the very middle but is still being ignored, and the last part is now plotted out in greater detail. There is an equal distribution of teeny index cards on the magnetic white board, that’s what I’m saying. She has an ending and a path out of her…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 6/24

    This week the birdbaths went from a stencil to the morning version: … and the noon version: … and the evening version:

  • Gary’s Dr. Squatch Soap Review

    Well, just last Monday on our anniversary I heard about some special manly soap the Young People at Work love: a Dr. Squatch soap, and as it was our anniversary that very day I bought a sample of Manly Man-scented soap for Gary. Here is his review of the scents, as verbatim as possible. Pine…

  • Wounded Bird

    I have a tight relationship with the pit bull mix next door. She hears my garage door come up, knows I am outside gardening, runs for her owner and allegedly whines until he lets her out. He refers to it as a stalker relationship but I don’t mind. I stick my arm through an irregular…