Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: March 2020

  • Rewriting the Novel: The Last Chapter

    Our teacher had previously instructed us that our last assignment was to write the last chapter of our novels. I was fine with that, because I have something of an outline, but on the other hand my ending is so far afield from Jerry’s ending that I had to make it up out of whole…

  • New Responsibility

    Last month my only Facebook responsibility was to announce celebrity deaths. This month I have an added duty: outing the Coronavirus Task Force Briefing Face-Touchers. I watch every Coronavirus Task Force Briefing, every day, every minute, and document when a doctor or politico moves their viruses closer to their respiratory systems. I understand when some…

  • Review: The Invisible Man

    “Twenty dollars?” I squawked, “Emma didn’t cost twenty dollars!” I appreciate that studios are releasing movies on streaming services, but is this price gouging? I was ready to wait to see if the price went down, given that I did not have high hopes for The Invisible Man movie. But Gary really wanted to see…

  • Fast Breaking News

    I was working at home yesterday (I suppose I don’t need to specify anymore) and I took a break to get some type of diet snack out of the kitchen. After my snack I walked back into my guest room/bedroom/office and looked at the news. The crawl said: US DEATH TOLL SURGES PAST 1,300 I…

  • Car Theft

    I have been up for two hours now, and I am still mad that the man helping me rearrange the garage essentially stole my car. We agreed on a price of $2,500, he signed the agreement, drove off in the car, and then I looked at the paperwork and he wrote $200, not $2,500. None…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 3/26

    This week the lamp went from this … to this … I thought I’d be in detail mode but I’m still in sloppy mode. I overpainted and I need to add yellow back. I like the water in the vase, though. The small project is the lemons. It uses mainly transparent colors.

  • Disaster Tally, Ho-hum

    A week ago there was an earthquake in Salt Lake City, which is not an earthquake area, is it? It reminded me that at the end of February, I woke up and felt a funny vibration. It wasn’t enough to make me leap out of bed, just something subliminal enough to make me start thinking…

  • Planning Ahead 2020

    I took inventory of what was in every freezer and larder. Oddly, there are no cans of beans. Note: go buy quaranbeans. Shown below is the end of my inventory. (Those two scrawled lines are “HUNKS CHEES(E)” and “BLUE BERRIE(S)” specifically.) So, here is some of what we will be eating if we are confined…

  • Texting

    I don’t get many texts. Most texts here come from siblings. The Text Ding stimulates an autonomous stomach-sinking response. “Ding!” “Oh god no, now what?” For some reason on Friday I got more texts than all the rest of my life combined. At one point I was navigating three simultaneous text conversations. Not fun. I…

  • Awareness

    People are calling this the new normal. No. New Not Normal. New Global Pandemic. When I start feeling normal I turn on the news and catch up on whatever Hell is fresh. (CNN, switch your Breaking News graphic to a Fresh Hell graphic.) As one of the Special Snowflakes who might die from your snot…