Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: December 2019

  • Bow

    I dropped off some suits at a new dry-cleaners. The Asian proprietor (it’s germane) seemed happy to see a new customer, and tried to shake my hand. He had the sniffles so I tried to fist bump instead, then he grasped my fists instead, and it all became quite awkward — so awkward that he…

  • Pursuing the Art of Helstromism

    Helstromism. It’s a form of fake mind-reading, in which a spectator helps a mentalist find a hidden object. The mentalist is actually guided by involuntary movements of the spectator’s muscles. The involuntary movements are the same that make people believe in Ouija boards. I’ve wanted to learn how to do this for a long time.…

  • The Novel: Chapter 10

    Well, I don’t know how it happened, but suddenly the hero is dating plucky waitress Mary. They appear to have been dating a while. Their relationship may have blossomed in Chapter 9, which has been lost to the ages. Chapter 10 opens with a rodeo and a ballgame, which is refreshing because So far the…

  • Gary’s Contribution to the Christmas Tree

    Gary commemorated the purchase of the second Toto toilet with his contribution to the Christmas tree. Marriage is compromise.

  • Review: The Winter’s Tale

    Othello / Tempest mashup: Winter’s Tale. Like Shakespeare must have used up lines he cut. The end’s a lot to swallow. Not a fan. It’s famed for bear pursuits, yet no bears shown! Still Judi Dench is worth admission price. .. and I have to give up on the iambic pentameter to talk about a…

  • Review: Last Christmas

    I think I started seeing the trailer for this movie back in September. If you’ve seen the trailer for this movie, you’ve seen all the high points. I spent most of the movie waiting for the Scenes I Saw in the Trailer When Emma Thompson says X or when Emilia Clarke does Y. It was…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 12/5

    This week the dog went from this: to this: I didn’t look at the actual dog and pitcher one time, I just focused on the painting. I don’t know. I don’t think I’m making any progress with this one. I might just ignore the cast shadow behind the dog, slap some highlights on it and…

  • The Novel: Chapter 7 and 8 and 9, Kind Of

    (There is no chapter 9, technically. Chapter 8 is extra long, though.) In Chapter 7, the villain goes on errands to further his villainy. This chapter could have been dispatched with a paragraph. (“Silvertop bought off what passed for the law in town and placed a call to an old friend.”) Oh, and the love…

  • Review: Doctor Sleep

    Well, it was creepy. Not as creepy as the Shining, at all, even remotely. I preferred the subtly creepy way that in The Shining they made the antagonist be the hotel, as opposed to the heavy-handed creepy way in Doctor Sleep that they made the antagonist be … be … be … well, it’s revealed…

  • Mammogram

    I rather enjoyed certain parts of this year’s mammogram experience. Not the squishing, of course. Per the squishing, this year the right breast registered no pain but the left breast was a big old baby. What I like is the positioning. The technician moves and molds me as if I were posing for a graceful…