Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: December 2019

  • Happy New Year’s Eve

    New Year’s Eve, or as I call it, the Last Day of Carbs 2019. Over the past nine days I have eaten waffles, fries, waffle fries, biscuits and gravy, chips, cookies, pie, garlic bread, a baked potato, and grilled cheese. I haven’t had any donuts, though. I feel awful. None of it has been even…

  • The Novel: Chapter 14

    “The Number 1 Blaylock oil rig, drilling in the south extension of the Five Trees field, blew out at 2:30 P.M. on November 15, 1930.” Jerry is channeling his inner journalist with this lead for chapter 14. Did you say, as I did, “Wait, what? This takes place in 1930?” The date was mentioned once…

  • Review: Don’t F**k With Cats (no Spoilers, at the Expense of Clarity)

    Netflix decided that since I binge-watched Mindhunter, I had stomach enough to watch (don’t click this link: spoilers) Don’t F**k With Cats. I knew nothing about the topic, which was essential. I came close to checking out during the titular scenes in the first episode, but I fast-forwarded instead. I made it well into the…

  • Sleep Mysteries

    Mystery 1: I wear my Fitbit for one reason: to see how much sleep I’m getting. Since Christmas Eve I’ve had a suspiciously good run. I rarely hit that goal of 7.5 hours of sleep. Usually it’s between four and six hours, with a “full night’s sleep” every three or four days. I don’t use…

  • Toilet Santa Is Famous

    Check out my Facebook friend’s Ugliest Ornament Contest: I know Toilet Santa’s mass-produced, but what are the odds? Santa won’t win ugliest ornament, though. Based on early voting, that set of pink-gummed yellow-green teeth in the bottom right has it going away.

  • Bald Eagle

    It is so hard to shake what you learn as a child. For example, bald eagles: I know they aren’t endangered anymore, but when a young girl goes to Washington D.C. in 1976 and sees a bald eagle at the zoo and hears that there only a few of our nation’s symbols left, and she…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 12/26/2019

    This week the vase painting went from this: to this: And man, this glazing is going to be slow, because every layer has to dry for a week. I am going to hate these vases so so much.

  • No Review: Cats

    We had no plans to see Cats because – I am sure you agree – we have seen enough movies lately, and also because what could be more plotless than a movie based on a book of poetry? However, after reading this article about the flaws in the digitized Cats, I deeply regret not having…

  • Review: Star Wars – The Rise of Skywalker (Spoilers? What Am I, A Monster?)

    I remember going on my first date, at fifteen, to see the first Star Wars movie, Star Wars IV: A New Hope. I remember hearing that this was the fourth in a series of nine films, and being confused as to why they didn’t start with number one, and then when they bounced back to…

  • Review: Knives Out

    There are two things you need to get past to enjoy this movie: One fairly bad accent One fairly unbelievable medical condition If you can get past those two things, you will enjoy this movie. I certainly did. There were at least four belly laughs and a chuckle every five minutes. I think I enjoyed…