Gary’s Drug Adventure

Gary’s very particular about his anti-seizure medication, because he feels the effects in his brain immediately. He’s finally settled on a particular generic of Tegretol. The doctors insist the generic is exactly the same as the original, but Gary claims he can tell.

The pharmacy sent him the generic this last month, only this time they sent a generic made by a different manufacturer. Two days later Gary reported:

• Racing heart (pulse of 150)
• Uncontrollable hand twitching
• Hallucinations that biting flies were in his hair
• Hallucination that there was a snake in his pants (pause for giggling)

I wasn’t around for the hallucinations: they happened while he was on the highway. I was appropriately horrified when he told me, and patient while he slept it off for two solid days. He was fine two days later, though the first day he did tell me the bathroom sink had little black bugs in it, which it does not.

At any rate, he promptly called the mail order pharmacy and they told him to put dirt in a trash bag, mix in the pills, and throw the bag away (because you can’t flush drugs anymore, I suppose, or else Bug Hallucinators need the earth ritual to believe). They also made a note to never send him that particular generic again.