Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: May 2019

  • Dead Mother’s Day

    This marks the eleventh Mother’s Day without Mom. In general, it feels less painful, on any day but Mother’s Day. I’m still elated to find notes in her handwriting (most recently on the backs of those old photos of Cindy and I and the sugar cube house). Immediately after she died I remember thinking, “Well,…

  • Public Service Announcement Part 2, in Which I’m Still Not Mad About This

    I know I am the most fortunate of all of those with MS, even in the way I pay for my medication. The co-pay assistance pays my deductible, which is now $4,500 just for me, and I pay nothing. No complaints here. Remember when Express Scripts billed my husband’s Health Savings card instead charging the…

  • Driveway 2019

    After thirty-plus years, it is time for a new driveway. (Granted, Mom’s driveway is 70 years old and still excellent, but the man who built the original driveway, the homeowner, was a cement worker. Our driveway guy was evidently related to the people who built the subdivision.) There was an on-line driveway cost estimator. The…

  • A Problem Shared

    Gary is a big believer in the adage, “A problem shared is a problem halved.” (Clearly I believe in it too, given that I have a blog devoted to sharing most of my problems. However, Dear Readers, I trust that when I cut my worries in half you don’t end up weighed down by the…

  • My Old Nemesis … We Meet Again

    Ignore the five-year-old version of me on the left, and ignore my freaking perfect cousin Cindy on the right. Focus your attention instead on the storage unit in the background. Mom left the marriage with nothing but that storage unit and our clothes. She packed it up and drove back to Saint Louis. That storage…

  • It’s Just Like the End of Jane Eyre

    I don’t know why, but Gary and I have been having communication problems lately. At least five times in the last week one of us has shouted, “I DISTINCTLY HEARD YOU SAY THE WORDS [fill in the blank]” followed by “I NEVER SAID THAT. I NEVER SAID [fill in the blank]” followed by “YES YES…

  • John Cleese vs the Kegels

    Gary and I were sitting at the table after completing a particularly exciting stage of Mansions of Madness, when I realized I had not gotten up to pee in four hours. This is double the amount of time I usually give myself. You’d think that I’d know my bladder was full, but that nerve shorted…

  • Derby Drama

    “BULLSHIT! THIS IS SOME GANGSTER BULLSHIT!” – Gary, after the Kentucky Derby reversal, in which the Kentucky Derby winner had his victory given to the second place winner. Upon instant replay, the favorite was found to have strayed from his lane and evidently had to be penalized. I personally was rooting for the pink-masked Japanese…

  • Doris Do

    I well remember the day that Mom and her friend/hairstylist Sherri cracked the code with Mom’s baby-fine hair. “We call it the ‘Doris Day Do’,” Mom said. “It takes a lot of hairspray. I can’t do it myself, but Sherri will do it for me once a week.” It was somewhat like this: … that’s…

  • Mindful TV Viewing

    At times, Gary becomes self-aware, realizes he’s in emotional pain, and takes steps to take care of himself. Most recently he has realized that watching the news all day is not good for his emotional health. As a result, he will watch the news, yell at the news once, keep watching, then yell at the…