Muzak Timeslip

I went in to Wendy’s the other day for what must have been the first time in thirty years. Last time I went there, the burgers were square and the tables looked like this:

The tables no longer have the antique newspaper ads printed on them, and I can’t tell you if the burgers are square because I had a baked potato.

The baked potatoes are the same as thirty years back, and so is the music. I was alone, with an hour to kill, so I was able to listen closely to the Muzak, specifically Caribbean Queen.

As best as I can tell, Billy Ocean is singing “Caribou Queen.” When I listened closely, I made out “Caribyew Queen.” I had to go to the internet to find out the lyrics, and then Wikipedia to see that in other countries it is “African Queen” and “European Queen.” (“Yuropeen Queen,” to my ears.)

From SongFacts:

The first version of this song was titled “European Queen (No More Love On The Run)” and released in the UK. In went nowhere, so Ocean and his team edited the song, changing it to “Caribbean Queen.” This version was a hit in both the US and UK. A third version, “African Queen,” was made for that continent. The video was edited for the different versions so Ocean would be singing the right words.

Only, you know, he isn’t singing the right words. The “Caribyewn” isn’t a place. Caribbean is four syllables, no matter how you pronounce it.

Later that night I was in the grocery and I heard Heart and Soul over the muzak, of all things. Evidently Train made a single that uses the tune. I wanted to yell at the ceiling, “Why did you change the words? They were adorable!”