I’ve got my own little nest here in the guest room. Gary has taken over the rest of the house.
This means I get very agitated when Gary comes in to my territory. He’s too much for the room. He’s a big guy, and it’s a small room, with small, delicate furniture.
He clambers into the bed and knocks pictures off the wall. He sits in the adjustable office chair, and the chair sinks, then when he gets out of the chair he does it while one armrest is still under the desk and the desk is rocketed off its feet.
If I roll him away from the desk, he leans back and hits the table lamp with his head.
If he’s drinking a soda, he’ll put it down by reaching over the back of his head and prodding the air with the can until it meets with what he assumes is a flat surface. This does not always end well.
This room isn’t big enough for the two of us, since I’m pretty big myself. I love my bull, but he needs to be banned from my china shop.
4 responses to “Gary in My Room”
The problem is that the Bull likes to be around the One Who Nests In A China Shop. (at least, presumably. I cannot come up with any other reason for him to invade, if the room isn’t especially comfy-for-him.) But yes. When you’ve mentally ceded 11 out of 12 things, you get far more irritable about encroachments on that 12th thing. (whereas the Bulls often are not aware that you’ve retreated from the other areas of conflict/breakability, and don’t understand why one space is different from another, or why equivalences like “but I don’t mind when you come into my space!” aren’t always really equivalence.)
If you have brilliant thoughts about how to love someone, communicate that love to them, appreciate whatever you can appreciate about them, and yet *also* communicate that they should please not [do thing they do not understand the problem with], that would be great. My spouse is blessedly low in irritating habits, but every once in a while things require Personal Growth on one side or another…
KC – he’s invading because I have gone to bed in my nest, but he’s on a different sleep schedule and still wants attention. I suppose I could stay up later, because as you say, personal growth comes on both sides.
Yes, if you are Going To Bed, then especially NOOOO on the bull-in-china-shop stuff. Trying to wind down towards rest while someone is either breaking or near-breaking random things is counterproductive. and also conversation/attention: generally not restful. Can he, I don’t know, schedule watching an online class or something for that slot of time? (because also: you have work hours, so even if your sleep schedule were generally malleable [some people can shift around without problems, some people can’t], it’s not 100% your choice as to when you have to get up most days. and to get up, and also not slaughter anyone during the day, it is important to get to sleep in time.)
(Also: with a couple I know, the male of the species recently noted that when he’s sick, he likes having someone around, but when his wife is sick, she does not like having someone around. I refrained from noting that when sick, it may be nice to have a quiet person who moves gently around and is willing to bring you things and talk quietly or be silent as preferred, but may be less nice to have, yes, the bull-in-china-shop fairly-loud-and-wants-attention here-you-should-watch-and-react-to-this-funny-youtube-video oops-just-broke-the-lamp but-hey-life-of-the-party in the same room. They’re also an extrovert-introvert pair, but even so, I think “bedside manner” probably adds a layer to the imbalance.) (I am very, very fortunate in having a spouse who is pretty good to have around when sick, but this is definitely not a universal trait…)
KC – the only thing about Gary’s sleep time is that is must be after mine or else He Is Not A Man.