Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: November 2018

  • Chuck and Gary

    A few months back, Gary discovered the TV show Chuck. A computer geek becomes an accidental spy with the help of a hot blonde female spy and a steel-jawed male spy. Romance and kickboxing ensue. Subway sandwiches kept it going for five seasons. Friend #3 recommended it when it first came out, but the pilot…

  • Work Gary vs Retired Gary

    That’s the thing about being married. Who you marry is not who you get years later. Retired Gary is not Work Gary who is not Early Married Gary (who frankly I don’t even remember). Work Gary would come home, rant about work for forty-five minutes, then talk in his sleep about Transact and COBOL. Retired…

  • In Which I Catch Up with Science

    The nice thing about science is that it always changes, so there’s always something new to learn. Health Sciences I found out that my MS drug will not be going generic next year. (This is actually excellent news for me, because when it goes generic I get no special treatment for having been in the…

  • Glamour Skunk and Drama Squirrel

    All summer long, all we got from the backyard video camera was morbidly obese raccoons grazing on nuts and dog food. And truly, most of them are in cow-grazing-posture, which annoys me because I know THEY know they’re being filmed. Be a cute raccoon and eat with your hands LIKE I KNOW YOU CAN! Then…

  • Election Day

    5:00 a.m. – Gary woke up happy. It has been two years since I’ve seen him this optimistic. I got caught up in his enthusiasm and went along with his scheme go to the poll as soon as possible, which for us was: 5:50 a.m. – We were about 100th in line. I had to…

  • Fun Updates and Kathy Griffin

    October was a busy month for fun. Parties and concerts and comedy. Granted, Patton Oswalt cruelly bailed on the concert he was going to do in December. It’s been rescheduled for next spring. Six months! Six months I have to not lose tickets! Six months to remember that I have a concert coming up! (Remember…

  • Again With the Curse of Oak Island

    My TV nemesis returns later this month with The Curse of Oak Island. (Narrator voice) Will Ellen continue watching this pointless show? Will she watch it live and waste an hour each week? Will she tape it and then fast forward through it to save time like a sensible person? Will she realize she is…

  • Playlist

    Our company has participated in a walking challenge the past few years. Teams are encouraged to walk 10,000 steps a day per person. I’ve been to two meetings now where half of us were making laps around the meeting room. If I’m not grocery shopping or pede-conferencing that day, I need to take two extra…

  • November 6th Plans

    Five more days until the next Election Day. I have these plans: Vote at the crack of dawn. There’s no early voting in our state, so you have to go to the polls on the day of. (There are absentee ballots you can mail in early, but I’d have to lie on the form, since…

  • Deer

    Gary, not content to carpet our backyard with nuts and dog food for the raccoons, bought a manger so he can feed apples to the deer. We assembled the manger without tears, so that was a breakthrough, and then positioned it so deer can just wander up, have a healthy snack, and be captured on…