Mental Health. Remarkably, I’m now a convert to mindfulness and meditation. The last time I went on a walk I noticed that I was dwelling on the negative (losing Gary) and re-directed my thoughts to where I would live if I lost Gary (a warehouse loft that would look empty until I pushed a button and then tiny-house-style beds would drop down, origami-like sofas would emerge, tables would rise from the floor and yellow and white furninishings would unfold from all sides. Kind of like the end of Pillow Talk, but color-coordinated.) It’s like I’ve won my Superego back on my side and it censors the negative instead of running a commentary on all my flaws.
Physical Health. I went for my yearly physical and two notable things happened.
First, for the first time in years I got a flu shot. I haven’t gotten them in the past because of my bad reaction to raw eggs, but this year we decided to see what happens. And you know whhat? Nothing happened. I didn’t end up in the bathroom. The doctor suspected that since the raw egg wasn’t in my digestion, my digestion wouldn’t reject it, to put it daintily.
Second, I gave a urine sample on the way out. I’ve given dozens – nay hundreds – of pee samples. You’d think I’d know how to do it. Usually it’s without incident. For some reason this time I decided to read the directions posted on the wall. So I stood there reading the directions, unwrapped the towelettes, pulled down my pants and for some stupid reason – still standing – santized my area.
My area immediately said, “Wait? We’re wiping already? I didn’t even pee yet! Here, lemme catch up.”
And I peed all over myself and my partially down underwear (but not my fully down pants) as I lurched over to the commode. I had intended to wipe, sit, unscrew the cap, position, and pee, but that was all happening at the same time now. Luckily I was able to fill the cup halfway, and luckily I had a zip lock bag in the car I could store my soggy underwear in.
It just occurs to me – that could have been my body rejecting the flu vaccine. Nah. Just me being dumb.
3 responses to “Mental / Physical Health”
I’m laughing because exactly the same thing would have happened to me. A related problem is the way I can hold it, hold it, hold it for the longest time, and then as soon as I open the bathroom door, WHOOSH! all over myself and the floor. That’s why there are no rugs in my bathrooms.
It’s worse right now because chemo irritates the bladder. Two ounces in there, and it’s screaming to get out.
I always get a flu shot. I usually can get to the bathroom before I pee myself. It’s been ages since I’ve given a urine sample, so I don’t know whether I would have problems with that!
~~Silk – I have to lie to myself. “After I open the bathroom door Gary will be in there, or the seat will be down, or there’ll be saran wrap over it.” and I didn’t know that about chemo. I’m always amazed by people who are on chemo and keep working, now there’s another reason.
Hattie – I would have gotten the flu shot for years had I known I’d have no reaction to it.