Rock Boat: Der Dachshundfest

We had a few hours to kill on South Beach Miami before we left for the port, so we did some people-watching on Ocean Drive. I noticed that walking ones dog seemed to be the thing to do that morning.

Then I noticed a cute little dog being pushed in a stroller. Aww, I thought, that’s a spoiled little doggie.

Then I noticed another little stroller dog. Then another.

Then I noticed almost all the stroller dogs were Dachshunds. “Weird,” I thought. “They do have bad backs, though.”

Then I noticed almost all the ambulatory dogs were Dachshunds.

“Excuse me,” I said to the next person I saw walking a Dachshund, “Are Dachshunds just really popular in Miami?”

“There’s a Dachshund Festival just down the street,” she said.

Evidently it was the Annual South Beach Dachshund Winterfest. You really should follow that link to see all the photos. Even those professional photos don’t fully convey what it’s like to be in the middle of thousands of whining weinerdogs.

None of our photos captured it either. I think the problem was that the dachshunds were too low to the ground.

There were so many dachshunds that I looked at the Doberman on the right of this photo and thought, “Man, that’s a really tall dachshund.”

You would think there’s be a lot of dog fights, but evidently each dog felt this entire festival was to honor them alone. Any other dogs were just there to pay tribute.

I don’t know how well the still photos of the dog race will convey how non-competitive dachshunds are. They don’t grasp the concept of racing. Essentially, dachshunds came out of the gate, ran in circles, ran back in the gate, and some eventually went over the finish line entirely by accident.

The biggest treat for the dachshunds was what I believe was called the Odor-rama. It was a series of mason jars filled with smells, from the divine “Filet Mignon” to the lowly “Human Crotch.” My favorite was “Wet Pavement Oh The Horror The Horror.”

It was a nice way to spend a few hours on South Beach.