Month: June 2014

Une tableau: That’s me self-bagging Aldi’s store-brand knock-off Raisin Bran Krunch in my Williams Sonama bag. I’d title this post “How the Mighty Have Fallen” or “Ozymandias” or “Nouveau Poore,” but a title like “Gary and I Wise Up” is more accurate. Here’s what happened today. The cable bill is our biggest expense, and Gary…

My grandparents owned a farm outside of Cuba, Missouri. It was a farm in that it had vegetables, a barn, and barn cats. It was not a farm in that it did not have a farmhouse. There was no house. There was a plywood and tar paper shack. No running water or electricity. I spent…

Last winter, I was at the dentist, and they advised I needed to have a crown refitted. (It would seem I have a wobbly crown.) I let the male dentist believe I was going to make a timely appointment, then after he left I gestured toward my abdomen and murmured to the assistant, “I course…

Even though my birthday is in August, my brother Dave called last month to say, “I HAVE FOUND YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT! WAR OF THE WORLDS THE MUSICAL!” “Well,” I said, “I suppose it could have been made into a musical.” “Starring Richard Burton!” He said he had all the songs and was sending it to…