Warning, with Apologies to Jenny Johnson

When I am an old woman I shall wear Poise pads,

Not the largest but the second smallest size, for when I cough.

And go for walks at four with my husband around the subdivision

In high-arched shoes that don’t suit me.

I shall go to Walmart and keep the receipt

And then take a nap with Gary from five till eight

And then wake up to fail at the crosword puzzle

Because on Wednesdays it gets hard.

But thank God retired men who are working their way through Netflix

Find video concerts for dark punk cabaret bands.

The Dresden Dolls make us feel our ears are a little less routine

And that we could someday spit in the street given the opportunity.