Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: January 2012

  • Kinetoscope of the Backyard

    I’ll glance in the backyard several times a day. I spotted a robin a few days ago: a rare sight for winter. I never see much activity in the backyard. I realized today it’s because I never wait for it. It’s like I’m glancing at movie stills instead of watching the movie. But today I…

  • Boiling Water

    Yes, it’s a video of me boiling water on the new stove. (Cameo by Gary.) Video takes two minutes. Water boils in one minute. I then boiled 8 quarts of water in a stockpot in 17 minutes after that. Of the roast (cooked with the roast probe and convection roast setting), and the of the…

  • Induction Obstruction

    You want to know about the Girls Night Out to christen the new range? The installer pulled out the old range, said, “I can’t install your new range,” Gary said, “I TOLD YOU THIS PARTY WAS A BAD IDEA” and I began making calls. My old range is hard-wired to the house and the new…

  • The Nouveau-Faux School of Interior Design

    Gary came to me yesterday morning. “Look what I did.” He led me into the bathroom. “Sweetie! You purged some of your Life and Style magazines from the magazine container!” “And look! I unwrapped those Wired magazines I never read and added them!” “You are so sweet! Our guests will think we’re so smart!” “Well…

  • This Is What You Get

    Before the Drive to the In-laws Gary: “Come on, let’s get going. Come ON. Let’s get the stuff in the car. Where’s the pie? Did you get the pie we can’t leave the pie go back in and get the pie. Are these all the gifts? Hurry up. Hurry we’ve got to get there I…

  • This dusting of snow has SHUT DOWN SAINT LOUIS

  • So I really wanted a drink but it’s ten am … So I got some pastries

  • There’s a GNO in the Planning Stages

    Caroline (#4) suggested there be a GNO to break in the new range, and then she suggested people bring uncooked food to share, and then she just dropped it in my lap. “What about cocktails,” I said, “Are there any ‘magnet’ or ‘cooking’ themed cocktails?” She shrugged, said ,”Sounds like a job for Google,” and…

  • Divide Me In Half, Put Me in A Greased Bowl, Flip Once and Cover Me with a Clean Towel

    Some of you may recall my Hellish yeast infection from two years ago (see the Chronicles of the Holy Bleeding Cooter, June ’09 – January ’10). My labia minora would swell and bleed and throb painfully, and it turned out to be a Yeast Infection, damnit, when I thought I had crotch cancer and I…

  • Birds

    We got Ken and Wilma the Audubon bird camera for Christmas, and it has taken many entertaining photos of the four species of birds in their backyard. At first we all fell into the “Christmas mouse” thinking – you see a mouse every couple of days in the winter; you think it’s one mouse. “There’s…