Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: December 2011

  • New Range Takes Over the Kitchen

    Wants All I want is my new range. Oh … and I realize I want a new range hood. And someone to install it. And new stainless cabinet pulls. And probably hinges. Maybe the old hinges can stay. Maybe I can just replace the pulls on the oven side of the kitchen. And almost all…

  • 2011: My Year in Review

    The Year In Eating Prime 1000 “My cut was leaner than his, so I kept spearing his discarded fat and gobbling it up. Eventually he held the plate over my head and gave it to the waiter.” Cracker Barrel “We left, and about three blocks before Mom’s house, Gary said, ‘Ow. I need to find…

  • Well Done, Good and Faithful But Kind of Tacky Servant

    After 24 years, my builder’s model White Westinghouse range is circling the drain. It takes 35 minutes to preheat to 400. It won’t self-clean anymore. The electric coils are very loose in their sockets. About five years ago I lusted for a new stove. The rest of the kitchen works fine, except for the refrigerator…

  • Christmas Materialism

    For all of you who complain about the materialism of Christmas, I present to you Gary. Gary doesn’t buy materials. He shows his love. A well-placed gift is love. As for Jesus, every day is Jesus Day. That said, I shall now detail the gifts exchanged. From Gary I got a Scooba, to replace the…

  • Merry Christmas Eve Eve

    Christmas Eve is the family Christmas, so, as I say Merry Christmas Eve Eve. The neurologist’s nurse reports that she read the write-up of Gary’s MRI and it looks good to her, but she isn’t a doctor. So my new diagfauxsis is “WTF?” Since the night he almost had the seizure (Monday) he’s been feeling…

  • My Day, In a Nutshell

    One of Gary’s Christmas gifts made it past “Enter your charge card” but not quite as far as “Confirm,” so I called them from work and placed the order again. A few minutes later, I got a message from my Gmail account forwarded to my work account with the subject, “Order number 467663.” As I…

  • The Adventures of Somebody

    On NPR, sometime in the last few days an interviewer was gushing over a actor taking on the challenge of playing an iconic character, someone every child remembers, the famous Tin Tin. Who? Who the hell is Tin Tin? Why does he have his own Wikipedia page? If I’ve ever heard of Tin Tin before…

  • Not Talking About the C Word

    Gary and I went for his MRI / MRA today. The MRA is evidently to check his brain arteries. I needed to drive because he can’t drive during the day anymore. The light seeps into his brain and saps his strength, poor guy. You should hear our house in the morning. “I can see the…

  • I Which I Shake Things Up

    I went to a fancy dinner party Saturday night, which was in many ways unusual for me. How fancy? How unusual? 1. I wore my black velvet hat. 2. I had never met the other seven people there, and I’ve met the hostess once. Met her many times on Twitter (@GatewayGroupie). 3. One woman had…

  • Ann Romney

    Ann Romney has MS, as we know. (We know all the MS celebs. Terri Garr, Montel Williams, Annette Funicello, we know them all.) That’s why I glanced at a news article about how Ann says Mitt is so faithful and an all-around great guy. Here’s what I saw: “She also discussed how he stood by…