Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: November 2011

  • Woozy Flu Epidemic in the House

    Tonight, at the grocery, I got woozy. (Then I started buying crazy food again. All vegetarian stuff, just like before. But that isn’t germane to this story.) Still, I was lightheaded enough to wrap things up prematurely. I called home from the parking lot. “Oh, Gary, I’m so glad you’re home. Look, when I get…

  • Thanksgiving 2011

    Thanksgiving this year will have land mines planted in the cranberry sauce. There are souls hanging in the balance and racial tension and cultural conflicts, all centered around the Kansas City contingent. There is so much woven subtext I can’t even present it in an organized manner. It seems the Very Muslim nephew and Semi-Muslim…

  • Hot Driveway, Baby, Yeah

    One nice thing? After twenty years, wood fences rot and driveways crumble and you get to upgrade. Get this upgrade: they make driveways now that melt your snow. You wake up and there is snow everywhere BUT your driveway. It’s a series of tubes and antifreeze and electrical power under the driveway. Handiest time to…

  • Suggestion Box

    Kind of a horrifying thing happened at work this week. We are blending two departments together, and one thing that’s been instituted is a suggestion box. I saw the Change Committee team get on the elevator carrying the suggestion box. They were heading for a meeting. Here is where I have to rely on my…

  • The Music Man, Continued, and So on, And Also So Forth

    In the past seven days I have seen The Music Man IN FULL five times. Two days Gary was merciful and just jumped to the songs. He pins me down if I try to leave. The thing is, he keeps seeing details he didn’t see before. Last night we had to track down what is…

  • Aha! So THAT’S What’s Wrong With Me.

    I have always held that a hypochondriac is just someone who isn’t diagnosed yet. There is a bell in our heads that rings long before any illness can show up on a test, but still we get tested and re-tested since we KNOW something is wrong. Of course, right before both undiagnosed MS flare-ups I…

  • Gary on Halloween

    I couldn’t pull Gary away from work if I sprouted a child from my forehead, but on Halloween he left work at lunch to spend an hour buying candy and staging the Halloween tableau at home. (Then, he went back to work.) I get the idea he bought the candy at a convenience store. This…