I took down my lush red honeysuckle, down to the ground, to better kill the poison ivy behind it. And kill it I did. I sprayed it till it was nothing but hairy dessicated vines. Then I cut those vines away from the roots and sprayed an extra dose on the roots. Then I let it sit there and be dead for a month.
Leaflets three? Leaflets zero!
So I grabbed it by my bare hands and wrestled it to the ground.
Who knew? Who knew it was of The Undead? And who didn’t listen to Mom-in-her-head and “wear gloves EVERY time you garden, Ellen, that way you NEVER get poison ivy.”
People at work saw I had been infected by the Undead Poison Ivy and backed away. I explained, “it’s an allergic reaction. I’m not contagious,” and then I fought off the urge to rub my face up against them. (And eat their brains.)
I don’t know why I can’t learn this lesson.
8 responses to “Zombie Attack”
My mother was so allergic to poison oak (what we called it) that once she caught it just putting her hand out the window near some of it, not even touching it. She would get it all over her body, including in all the crevices and in her eyes. And I’m hardly allergic to it at all. Go figure.
My dad and I are both not very reactive to poison ivy. One year, we cleaned out a bunch of brush by our cabin, and burned it – you guessed it – got poison ivy oil on us from the smoke, and breathed in some of it. Not a happy experience.
That’s just the madcap kind of girl you are, gardening without gloves. Hey! Band name!
Poison ivy is NEVER dead! You pegged it.
My cousin reacts if anyone burns it a mile downwind.
Poison Ivy can be dead, but that doesn’t mean that the oils you’re reacting to aren’t still sitting on the dead vines.
Stop touching things in your garden with your bare hands. Really. It’s better with gloves. Plus, then you get to shop for gloves.
I try to tell my friends this every fall when we go hiking in the woods after a frost. “But it’s dead”, they say. Then they always wonder where the mysterious rash comes from later.
It’s not dead, it’s pining for the fjords.
Hattie – Ah, crevices. All over my underboobs right now. Making me crazy. Mare – A former fireman just told me what can happen if you breathe it in when it’s burning. Becs – Gardening Without Gloves is the folk rock version of Fingering Husband’s Rectum. (That running joke is over five years old. No one knows what I’m talking about,)~~Silk – It’s dangerous when dead, that’s what’s really creepy. Like a Dengue fever victim. Tami -I almost went out to the back and grabbed it all up to put in the yard waste bin, then I remembered I’d have to put on gloves. Amy in STL -So the sap’s there, just not flowing. Okay then. Marcia – Crackle crackle crackle, which is a bit of a shock if it’s not quite dead.