Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: September 2011

  • Ugggh

    Yesterday morning: Ahh! There is cottage cheese in the cafeteria.Late morning: hello milk and chocolate muffin sitting on my desk. Good to see you!Lunch: why are these udon noodles for Diversity Day kind of grey? Why am I only eating a bite of everything? Why is there strawberry filling in this wonton?Dinner: Hello reheated frozen…

  • A New Reality Show

    Gary noticed earlier this month that all posts seem to be about my health. I admit he is right. So, now for something completely different (and not at all about superficial vein thrombosis, a condition so inconsequential Wikipedia doesn’t cover it). Recently, someone at work confessed she had some meat in her freezer that needed…

  • “Grotesque”

    That time yesterday when I couldn’t have an good old all-out feel sorry for myself cry? That’s all over now. Gary and I were discussing my health concerns I was having my health concerns dismissed by Gary and he said “… and frankly, I think it’s just grotesque you’re having some woman massage your vagina!”…

  • Leaky

    Leaky stomach:No matter how many antibiotics you have taken, read the insert. When they tell you to take the antibiotics with food, do. My stomach began bleeding Thursday night. Not pleasant at all. Leaky bladder: Sigh. I choked again at work Friday. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I tried. If I’d…

  • She Did Everything but Play the New World Symphony

    I had my urodynamic test today, and without giving you a blow-by-blow account, let’s just say it was unpleasant. Well, let’s give you an abbreviated blow-by-blow. Catheters up my bladder and vagina, electrodes on my rear. My rear was originally in the chair, then it was jacked up to be at the tech’s eye level.…

  • Spunky Likes it Nasty

    It is a truth universally acknowledged, that no matter how much time you spent scrubbing the toilet, and no matter how dirty your feet are from walking in the basement, nor how slowly the tub drains, one can not plunge ones foot into the toilet to rinse off said foot. You should have heard Gary…

  • In Which All the Balls Fall Into Place

    1. Medication needs to be ordered? HAH! I looked the prescription up on line to be sure it has no penicillin, and I find it’s the stuff I have in my dresser “To be taken after sex.” (I take it to prevent bladder infections. I still have a year’s worth. We are in a bit…

  • Too Many Balls

    I love having deadlines at work. Even if I screw up everything else, I can at least meet the deadline. However, this week work dealings collide with pee tests and haircuts and required medications to be taken two days before and two days after. Too complicated. However, I got the work dealing done by working…

  • Still Life with Measurement Device

    This is how I will spend my day tomorrow. Drinking from a measuring cup, processing it, ah – moving it to the white measuring device. I will remove the nectarine first. That’s just there because it makes Gary scream.

  • Weekly Physical Therapy Update

    First, I got out of bed at 8 a.m and did the responsible thing: checked my PT time. Of course, it was at 8 a.m. I pulled on clothes and yelled at Gary, “GET OUT OF MY WAY! NO TIME TO EVEN BRUSH MY TEETH OR WASH MY FACE.” He was shocked. “You’re going to…