My Strange Addiction– why was I not TOLD ABOUT THIS SHOW? Of course, it just premiered five minutes before I tuned in by chance and saw a woman addicted to sleeping (platonically) with her turned on (platonically) blow dryer, but who cares because there was also a woman addicted to eating toilet paper.
I immediately wanted to try some toilet paper. She said she like the way it felt on her tongue. I saw this show two hours ago and I keep thinking about toilet paper.
I’m doing it. Just a tiny piece. Addiction happens to other people.
……………………………
Okay, I did it.
Now I want to call this woman who eats toilet paper and suggest, “Have you tried biting your nails? MUCH more satisyfing.” Toilet paper doesn’t melt in your mouth the way you might imagine. Essentially it absorbs all the saliva and becomes a big spitball. Or … swallowball. I mean, I see the appeal of swallowing the toilet paper and essentially cleaning your rectum from the inside to the outside.
In fact … someone should tell TP girl about that trick of eating a string tied to a rag that then passes through your bowels. (You know. As you do.) I can not for the life of me back that up on Wikipedia, but I know I heard it somewhere. Perhaps in a Quentin Tarintino movie.
I can still feel the spitball in the back of my throat. Not for me. Maybe crack is the same way. I could try that too.
9 responses to “A New Show”
That string tied to a rag thing, I saw that in Crumb, the documentary about R. Crumb and his family. His brother did that, only he had a huge long string made of rags that he would chew and swallow. It would come out his ass, and it was so long half would still be sticking out his mouth. Traumatizing!! I think it took a month to cycle through his system, then he’d wash it and start over again.
Just don’t try meth – it’s bad for your teeth!
When I was a kid, I ate paper napkins. I also ate the sulfur off matchheads*. Too bad there weren’t any cheap-ass reality shows back then; I coulda been a child star!
Oh, and Faythe, all the bleach in the world is not gonna clean that image from my brain.
*No, I don’t know why I had access to matches when I was a CHILD. No wonder I’m strange.
I heard about this at physical therapy today and shudder to even consider. The weirdest thing I ate as a kids was a Gainesburger- remember those hamburgers for dogs? My family made our own hamburgers and raw they looked *exactly the same*. (Now why I thought eating a raw hamburger was a good idea I don’t know).
Hopefully this was toilet paper fresh off the roll….Otherwise..well, you know….
Pica: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_(disorder)
Faythe – YES! Crumb! That’s where I saw it. Unforgettable.Amy_in_StL – Okay.I keep hearing good things about coke.RockyCat- I ate the corners off the pages of WWII era pulp books. I had no matches, poor me.Elisabeth – “Remember” – don’t they still make Gainesburgers? Benchmark – Very fresh. It looked tasty.Zayrina – I didn’t know that about the “white dirt.” That was very interesting. Maybe this woman’s body needs aloe and lanolin.
A crzy ex-boss oof mine used to chew on scotch tape. Maybe I could send her name to the producers…
Magpie – Thanks. Now I want to try scotch tape.