Background information: A month ago, our cable provider came by our house because Blah something, High Def Blah, something, they had to work on Gary’s TV. Before the cable man left he said, I’m not doing blah, but after a week or so if you notice things aren’t working, Switch The Tivo to Antenna. [Capitalization mine] I wrote on the refrigerator whiteboard: “Switch The Tivo to Antenna”
So a few weeks ago, Gary’s cable began acting wonky. During his rant I said, “Oh, they said to Switch The Tivo to Antenna.”
“WHY would you say that! We don’t have an antenna!”
“But the cable guy said before he left to Switch The Tivo to Antenna.”
“Stop saying that! Stop saying that! There is no antenna!”
“Well I know there’s no antenna, but the guy said -“
“IT’S A TIVO SO THERE IS NO ANTENNA! DON’T YOU GET THAT?”
So, I dropped it, but for the next few weeks every time Gary said “Damn! That show didn’t record right! Look it’s all wonky! F*&^ing cable!” I would pleasantly say, “Switch The Tivo to Antenna.” Followed by cursing, or bellowing, or sometimes a patient explanation about how no one had antennas any more now, honey.
Fast forward to our 25th anniversary when we agreed to call Charter.
I said I would call the cable company but Gary said, “NO! Let me do some research first.”
His research determined that what they had done was install a tuning adapter.
“IDIOTS! They installed the wrong kind!” This is how I know there are two types of tuning adapters. “The kind they gave us is the wrong brand AND the wrong model – it doesnt even have enough input slots! You can see here how he rigged it up, he split the signal and plugged it into the back where it says ‘Antenna.’ Dumbass.”
I paused. I tried not to. “Switch The Tivo to Antenna.”
“STOP SAYING THAT! STOP SAYING THAT! Aren’t you listening to me? There isn’t even a screen where you can choose antenna on a TiVo.” He then clicked all the way up TO a screen that said “Input,” then said, “Even if there IS an antenna choice, and I’m not saying there IS, I wouldn’t want to make it because it would drop me down to only one tuner.”
“Are you taking a shower? You can leave the TiVO on that screen.”
“DON’T TOUCH MY TIVO.”
And then he did NOT shower but instead did more research that convinced him Charter cable had given us the wrong brand and model of tuning adapter as a conspiracy to make us turn against our TiVo in our hearts and choose the Charter DVR.
Gary has determined his next step is to go to Best Buy and buy his OWN tuning adapter, the right brand, the right model, and set it up the way he sees fit. He will THEN crack the cover on the new tuning adapter and say “SEE? SEE? PIECE OF CRAP! IT’S WELDED WRONG!”
At no point during the exercise did he Switch The Tivo to Antenna OR call the cable company with his accusations, and I don’t care, because my low-def TV works fine.
#3 did ask why I didn’t just switch it and not tell him. He feels so passionately about it that I can’t. Plus, he does have me a little convinced about the Charter Cable conspiracy.
14 responses to “FYI: What to Do if Charter Cable Comes to Your House and then A Month Later Your Cable is Messed Up”
See, I think that makes you a better wife than I ever would be. I would have just switched it when he was away to see if it worked…. Then when it did; I would have totally called him out on being bull-headed. This may be reason #247 why I can’t seem to keep a boyfriend.
Amy in StL – what I find amazing is that this time around I’m not losing ALL respect for him because of his pride. I called him out on it and now I’m thinking we’ll probably have a better setup after he’s done.
Ah… so now your utility company paranoid delusion is the cable company. P.S. the nutless wonder’s buddy is revving the ATV engine. Gary, SWITCH. IT. TO. ANTENNA. You’re changing a setting on a Tivo, not diffusing a nuclear warhead.
Well, clearly THIS is how you get to your 25th anniversary without going fuzzy at the edges. Me, I’d have switched it to antenna and then slashed finger-licked air-points in his face. This may be why we don’t celebrate our anniversaries.
#3-Don’t listen to her Gary! Who knows what could happen?Big Dot – Switching to antenna would possibly make things fuzzy at the edges, true.
Eric – Does Charter provide marriage counseling? Seriously, I will pass your info to Gary and see what he thinks.
Hello!My name is Eric Ketzer, and I am a Manager at Charter Communications. I have to say I am not a fan of the Charter Conspiracy. Honestly, we are very supportive of PVRs, and we would be happy to help you in any way we can to get these issues resolved. Please send me the name, address, and phone number on the account to Umatter2Charter@chartercom.com, and we will be in contact to get this resolved. Great read by the way…EricEric KetzerSocial Media Communications ManagerCharter
LOL…sorry no marriage counseling, and mine only lasted 5 years, so I certainly am no help, but we can get the CableCARD situation straightened out… 🙂
Oh. My. God.
That is totally creepy.
I feel guilty about not making any jokes about the Big Butter Jesus, now, because MAYBE JESUS WOULD HAVE SHOWN UP AND GIVEN AN EMAIL ADDRESS FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE!
Eric- don’t feel bad, everyone’s marriage tanks during years 4 and 5.Tami – Is there something you need?
Ellen – doesn’t everyone have something that they could ask of Jesus?
Tami – no, not Ellen, this is JESUS. Ellen keeps asking me if she could have dinner with me and Gerald Ford and Ghandi.
Jesus – does she realize that your name doesn’t start with “G”? Because that seems to be the theme, there.
Tami – Jesus is busy now. You missed your big chance to ask him anything…