I am not a Republican. Some of my best friends are Republican. I am not.
However, I did recently communicate with my Republican congressman to let him know I wanted him to vote for universal healthcare. This put me on the Republican radar, and they think I’m a compatriot.
So today, they sent me this in the mail.
Friends, I have been “selected to represent Republican voters in Missouri’s 2nd Congressional District!” Sadly, “only survey tallies will be shared with our Congressional leaders and candidates,” so they won’t see my write-in comments. Like when I classified what type of Republican I was.
I am “Other – Bleeding Heart Welfare-Loving-Let’s give-fire-trucks-to-the-disabled Democrat.” (Because then they could park even closer to the Walmart.)
When asked how much it concerned me that the Democrats have total control of the federal government, I made a box for “LOVE IT” and checked that.
And hey, thanks for asking.
On looking over my answers I see that while many won’t be counted because I added boxes or chose “Other,” some will get through and skew the results. For example, when asked if I “favor or oppose the Obama Administration’s non-confrontational policies in dealing with radical leaders such as those now in control in Iran, North Korea and other countries,” I marked Favor. They’ll miss out on my reason, but that’s okay.
I do like the way he bows. It’s the “Hi,I’m not an asshole” way of doing it he has.
Finally, I enclosed my generous contribution of “HAH!”
and it’s going out in the mail tomorrow.
17 responses to “Republican Pseudo-Census Form”
I heart you. 🙂
Such a pity that such things get ignored by those who could best use the message…
“I like the way he bows.”
Awesome.
I heart you.
Seriously? Someone beat me to “I heart you?”
There is seriously no way to tell you how much this makes me love you. None.
I want a firetruck! That would be AWESOME! And you CAN park it anywhere!
I should start writing to Republicans. You have too much fun.
I should also write to more Republicans. However, I live in South Carolina, home of one of the top 5 Stupid US Governors (and lt. Gov, and a host of Congressmen who do embarrassing things like yell at the President). People here have lots of guns and are very Republican, and they will defend their stupid choices rather than hear anyone say they were wrong.
So I’ll wait until we move to, say, Pennsylvania or some place like that.
Even I, as one of your Republican friends, think it is hilarious.
Erin -Heart you back!Laurel – (You have the best blog link EVER) I bet the republicans will be swayed by that and change their tune. Kathy – I bet he practices that bow. Christy – I Less Than Three youAngie – Kisses!Tami – You could hose people! Ha! Hose!Magpie – Well, c’mon! They sent me the form! Sherri – But didn’t SC spawn Steven Colbert?Caroline – I know YOU would never be that obvious. Your fund-raising letters would be completely above-board.
I may love you more than Rachel Maddow at this very moment…
LOVE this!
It must have been so much fun too.
Kristie – Blasphemy! Rachel is the most Beloved of all Liberals.Gaoo- It was cathartic.
We’re registered as Independents; every other week we get questionnaires from the Republican Party asking if we are happy with the way Obama and the Democrats are destroying the American dream. I tell them I love it.
Love, love, love this!
First, hello to subrubancorrespondent and annettek.subrubancorrespondent – I wrote “TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST” at the end of the form. We will see if it works!annettek – Thanks for making it here!