My Favorite Old Phrase
“It’ll never show on a galloping pony.”
Said by: A friend’s mother while we were sewing said friend’s wedding gown.
Only, to be fair, we weren’t really sewing on the lace appliques as much as smearing them with fabric glue and pounding them on with our little fists.
My Favorite New Phrase
“The juice ain’t worth the squeeze.”
Said by: The pulmonary technician during my last lung exam.
She was debating if we should run one extra test to reconcile a minuscule aberration. And she decided not to, because as she said so nicely, the effort wasn’t commensurate with the result. I’ve been waiting for weeks to use this sometime. Sadly, the juice has always been worth the squeeze, somehow.
An Old Phrase I Never thought Much About Before
“Lifetime guarantee”
The LeafGuard gutters on Mom’s house have clogged, filled with ice and pulled off on the house front. (Bad. It shows on a galloping pony.) But, it was okay, because LeafGuard has a lifetime guarantee. So, I cheerily gave them Mom’s address. They said they’d be out soon.
And then I thought, you know, she’s not alive. Isn’t “alive” a prerequisite for the Lifetime Guarantee?
Happily, the web site says, “The Englert LeafGuard® gutter system is guaranteed not to clog with leaves, pine needles, or other organic debris as long as you own your home or we’ll clean them for free.” Luckily, every home I own I has the LeafGuards: my house and Mom’s. I can’t imagine they’d get particular about who the “you” is connected with each house.
If they are, I’ll just pay it, because … why? Because the juice ain’t worth the squeeze.