Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: November 2009

  • This Could Go On Forever, or Until I Grow Up. Or, Forever.

    Now that we have the chopped capon, or “cock,” Gary delights in feeding the dog a fusion dish he likes to call “Cock and Goo.” Gary was describing how he “plates” this dish. “First, I suspend the dog food can over the dish, and wait until the food comes out in a perfect circle. Then…

  • White Sale: Socks and Pajamas

    Socks – It is time to sort through my socks. TeddyJ prefers the black, brown and gray socks, so I need to search my vast collection for those colors … or else buy new socks. Did you know it is possible to spend $65.00 on a pair of socks? Craziness. I know I need to…

  • In Which I Mock My Commenters

    Last night, Gary offered the dog some of the cooked capon white meat. I hadn’t thought of any of the alternate terms for rooster until he sweetly said to the dog, “Does uums want some cock? Just a teeny little bite of cock?” At the time, I thought a moment, then gasped, leapt up, waved…

  • The Domestic Urge Returns

    … and I have a bladder infection. Draw your own conclusions. I’ve been cooking for two days. Today, instead of going directly in to the kitchen to express my love with food, I’m whipping up an amateur foodie post. Babka. Google tells me my site is the place to be for babka. I don’t know…

  • Look who brought home a pastry

    The name of the pastry? Parisian Tongue.

  • A Post For The Boys

    Today was Thursday. Let’s go back in time to Monday. Monday night I was in the guest nest, too confused by the WALLPAPER (haters!) to find my way out. Gary was in the other room watching television. I heard gunfire, a baby crying, then a woman bellowing, then more gunfire. Of course I ignored it.…

  • Wisdom

    So, if you are my sister-in-law, here is how you request a birthday present: “I would like a desk fan. Please, just a normal desk fan like you’d find at Walgreens. Nothing fancy.” If you are my husband that translates to mean this: Yes, that is a desk fan. (Get yours here!) Nothing fancy, nothing…

  • The Puppy-Eaters

    “Garbage!” he said, and pointed toward the trunk,“What is this Get Smart lunchbox doing here?”And tossed it aside still claiming it was junkIgnoring his wife’s welling tears.Sniffed she, “You jerk, it’s only been two years.”The lunchbox was from Mom’s house where she’d grown. Yet what he wants to hear is what he hears,And soon between…

  • Berlin Wall

    When I saw students were standing on top of the Wall, I was horrified. These were students just asking to be martyred, or perhaps they were drunk, I thought, because there was quite the party atmosphere. The party went on for a few days – long enough for Tom B. to get there in his…

  • What’s the Opposite of a Bucket List?

    I have no “bucket list,” a list of things to do before I die. Except “have children.” Wait! Hahahahahaaha. I don’t plan for things to happen, I just float around until things happen. Last night at the concert, I was so delighted to see Leonard Cohen, and I thought, “Cool. I get to see Leonard…