Well, hang a black wreath on the cubicles next door. Two cubicle neighbors have succumbed to the Wild Boar Flu.
As a public health service I will list the symptoms of Wild Boar Flu (and I will try to be delicate).
Early Symptoms: Coughing, Fever (100.5), Fatigue, Dizziness, Lightheadedness, and a symptom we will just refer to as “Olive drab.”
Later Symptoms: “Coughmiting” (the medical term for “Puke-cough”) combined with “Coughrination.” Also, “Going to Vegas.”
End-stage Symptoms: Insomnia. Exclusively in males: muscle spasms, burning skin, lower back pain, nausea, toe pain. Also, upper or lower respiratory infection. Quacking cough which co-workers ridicule. Desire to buy all new clothing.
(I just realized! I dumped all my “lightly used” clothing on Marlo and Ann at work. This is like the Native Americans and smallpox! So … we’ll just see if they’re in tomorrow.)
6 responses to “Typhoid Me”
To be a genuine Typhoid Mary you would need to be symptom-free, and I think we’re all only too well aware that that’s not the case. I see you more as Pig-Pen, clearly dirty and trailing clouds of smuts.
I mean this in a nice way, of course.
Just be very careful if you have trouble breathing, call 911 immediately. We had a friend get sick Monday, after teaching all day. She passed away yesterday at 7am, less than 48 hours later.
I thought of your Wild Boar Flu when I heard about her.
There’s is some wicked shit out there right now. I would like to barricade myself in the house until spring.
ugh. sounds familiar…
Big Dot – Leper. Leper was the analogy I was looking for. Surprising Woman – God! That’s alarming. I SWEAR I will not ignore any difficulty breathing.Sue – Sorry. Hope you’re over it.
The cows will never let her turn blue again.
Caroline – Oh, as if I listen to you cows you.By the way, I forgot to add “Crazy vivid dreams” as a symptom for week one.