How shall I explain the level of crisis that hit this home tonight? How else but with the Homeland Security Advisory System.
This was the mailbox that was ultimately selected as the Mother of All Mailboxes. Of course, that image is stripped, not loaded. Gary wanted the newspaper box and the extra plate on top with the family name but his parents shot that down. (“We just want a mailbox!” As you might imagine, Wilma has a flair for drama. Picture an 80 year old woman pleading for her son just to buy her a mailbox, any mailbox, as long as it has a cute ball-shaped finial like the neighbors’.)
HIGH: Just before he “pulled the trigger” (I hate that phrase now), Gary made sure to ask his Mom what the address was. The address where, not incidentally, Gary grew up. “Mom, is it 5897 Fairview or 5987 Fairview?” “It’s 5987. Here, let me write it down for you.”
You know where this is going, don’t you?
SEVERE: Of course the invoice just came and of course Gary had given 5897 Fairview, the wrong address. Of course. He explained to me he was sick of his anal nature and decided just to rely on his memory and ‘wing it’ when he gave the order on the phone. So now, a week later, the aluminum / bronze / titanium has been poured. Initially, Gary assumed these mailboxes are cast whole in a giant one-piece mold for greater structural integrity and he would be buying an entirely new mailbox, full price, and then have to sell the incorrect 5897 mailbox on eBay. Or else move to 5897 Whatever Street, Somewhere, USA. Happily, after I tried talking reason for an hour or so, we listened to our voice-mail and found that the address plaques are screwed on separately, so it would be cost about a sixth of what he was thinking it would be.
This made him quite elated. He likes to spend money, but he still loves it when he gets a bargain like that.
9 responses to “Mailbox, etc.”
Um, he had good intentions?
“Pull the trigger” is like one of the grossest expressions ever.
And yes, I have to start over with a brand freaking new neurologist when I move. Better yet, we’re getting a private PPO through Josh’s hospital so I can ONLY see a neurologist there. I know, that doesn’t seem dangerous at all, right?
So, how is it a bargain if he had to spend one sixth MORE than he would have if he’d written the house number down right. Men.
Jesus. Christ.
I second 3’s comment.Jesus.H.Christ.
i went to the brick mailbox site and I must say, i feel slightly dirty what with the talk of ‘twin peaks’ and ‘view our box” and ‘build your own box’.yep. yep. yep. ok then . . . . .moving on.
http://www.geekandproud.net/terror/
I’m not touching that mailbox story.
Overflowing Brain – I hope they have lots of neurologists, especially ones who specialize in headaches. Magpie – Not all men, surely? He was quite good-natured after, I wont complain.3 – JC to youTami – Love that link.Mrs Hall – Gary when to the displays and said “Look I can stick my whole head into this box!”
DAMMIT Ellen!!! gross!!!such icky fun! EEEWWW!!
Mrs. hall – what? what? He could put his whole head in the box.