I’m all done with finding myself the destination for random Google searches. My focus has turned to Google searches that find me on the first page.
Long ago, you could find me at the top of the pile if you searched “hot sexy toes.” I’m sure this summer I’ll be back in the game, but I find that toe searches really scale back in the winter months. It seems counter-intuitive, I know. You’d think they’d be craving some of that pudgy toe-flesh in December, but no. Summer gets them all worked up.
So, here are the searches just this week that might make someone think I’m an expert on these topics.
“when i am old i shall wear purple” – Number five. In the WORLD. The Amazon book is two rungs below me.
“how to excite my husband” – Number three. This is sad, because I’m really no expert.
“john mclaughlin” harding colbert – Ha HAH! NUMBER ONE! If you add, “Warren” I drop to the bottom of the page.
“can i take a vibrator on a cruise” – Number ONE! Number ONE!
“born without an asshole” – I really expected to be Number One for this one, but evidently an artist titled a sculpture and knocked me down to second.
And, finally …
“kathy griffin review” – Is Kathy Griffin.net Number One? No. Is IMDB Number One? No. Is TV.com Number One? No. What do those losers know? No, I AM THE NUMBER ONE SOURCE for Internet Kathy Griffin Reviews. I really like Kathy Griffin. I wish the review had been more glowing. I was just delighted to see her series on TiVo last night.
(P.S. – I’m still the #1 search for Spunky Labia, of course.)
7 responses to “Google-Climbing”
“can i take a vibrator on a cruise” – Number ONE! Number ONE!I just wanted to say that is awesome.
That’s art?And I wonder how the dog is doing.
Whenever I’m on a public computer here and I want to look up your blog, I google spunky labia. It’s way easier for me than trying to remember how to spell mediocretia. It’s pretty handy. 🙂
Kathy – some times it’s “Can I take a vibrator on a plane” but Im not even on page one then. I’m no expert on that.Caroline – Sure it’s art. It made me smile. It’s as much art as that great thing at the art museum with the medicine cabinet. I wish they’d put that out again.Erin – are you okay? Did you comment before or after the earthquake?
We’re fine. Crazy thing, though, is we were in Sendai (right where the quake hit) just over a week ago. Thanks for asking. 🙂
So, can I take a vibrator on a cruise?
Magpie – sure. The trick is to pack tampons and Kotex on top of it – customs never touches those.