Saturday is the big Dual Mother’s Day / Birthday Party for my mother-in-law. It should last six hours.
Let’s place some bets.
How many times will my mother-in-law mention my mother and how sad it is that I don’t have my mother on this Mother’s Day and how terribly I must be missing my mother since it is Mother’s Day and even though I don’t have a mother my mother will live on always in my heart.
How many times?
I’m serious. I’m going to keep track. If your guess is closest I might even bake you something and mail it.
Place your bets in the comments. Betting will end Monday night.
Please, no doping.
31 responses to “Place Your Bets”
im gonna go with. . .5for your sake though, i hope i lose. . .meaning i hope its less than that obviouslyyou could make a drinking game out of it though. . .every time she refers to your mom, take a sip
I’m gonna go with 7…one for every hour and by extra. You should definitely go with the drinking game.
**that “by” should’ve been an “an.”
Well, not having a clue as to the nature of your MIL, I’ll lowball it at 4. Each of those sentiments you listed above once, and add ‘this must be so hard for you.’I agree with the drinking game suggestions. I hope that you survive the day and maybe find some solitude during those six hours. I hear bathrooms are good for that sort of thing.
I’m going with 7, also. It sounds like this woman has no idea of the pain she inflicts with her sympathy and that she is being good for being so sympathetic.It’s been 11 years since my mom died and only now am I getting over the pangs every time Mother’s Day is mentioned.
I will go with 3 just so I can have my own number.What do we win? hehehe
Fourteen.
6. But boy do I hope I’m wrong. Except for the baked goods part.
2. Once at the beginning of the event and once during.
Well, hell, since you are so sure of her, I’ll go with 13. Just the fact that you mention it, makes me know her a lttle too well.
18
Thirteen.
If she drinks, 36. If she’s sober, 12. I want a pie.
I’ll say 11, although I think it would be better if it was a big fat zero. Alas, considering past stories you’ve told, I doubt that would happen.
8. 🙂
I’ll go with 5, plus a mention of how much easier holidays will be now that you only have to be with the S_____ family.
Ack! Re Caroline’s comment. She’s right! The S___s will try to commandeer your every holiday. You must immediately discover a stepfather you never before mentioned and that he lives in Miami and also has houses in London, Paris, and Hawaii. Then you and Gary go and do what you want, even if it’s staying at home watching “A Christmas Story” twelve times in a row.
Four. Although, I think it’d be really fun if you could get Gary to convince her that you’re really sensitive about Mother’s day and even hearing “the m-word” will set you off. It could be an elephant-in-the-room day celebration.
Ten. Just because it hasn’t been taken yet. And today’s the 10th. Oh, cripes, that’s going to be a long six hours, isn’t it? Good luck …
I’m guessing once, purely through nominal politeness.It’s my first orphaned Mother’s Day too.But on a brighter note, I’m coming to you from Adelaide – can you tell? (Sorry if you thought you had a new Australian fan – but at least you know why Auckland’s gone quiet). A tuna bit my finger this morning. They’re quite big, you know, despite coming in such little tins at the supermarket.
My friend Kirk used to deal with hurtful comments in a dramatic and kind of fun way. When someone hurt him, he would put his hands over his heart, recoil as if he had been hit and say “Ow!” Just something to try LOL
Nine.Of course, you can use grief for a valid reason NOT to celebrate Mother’s Day this year. “It’s just too much!”They expect drama. Give it to them. In spades.
I’m saying 7. And I’m sorry for every single one of them…what a day!Also I like brownies.
Dear Subject,I am writing to you as a concerned mother, I have been following your blog for sometime. I just want to let you know how vile and obnoxious it sounds and what a pathetic person you must be!!!! Your website seems to mock everybody, family and friends which leads me to beleive that you must not have any. Obviously your family does not like you either. I say this because no one in the right mind would be able to say such things about someone who obviously cares for you. For instance, your in-laws, specifically your mother-in-law. Mother-in-laws get a bad name anyway…but you go beyond that. To mock your mother-in-law on her birthday and as well as mother’s day is just vile. The only thing I can say is I will pray for you becuase you will need it.
Oh dear. A concerned mother. I pity those kids.
17. Do price as right rules apply?
If you were really Empress of the Universe, you would know that it’s I before E except after C. You, madame, are bogus.
LaisyDaisy – Hi, LazyDaisy! What about brownies that are only the edges? I have one of those pans that make them.Everybody but the Empress – we shall see. Shall it be pies or brownies? Or cookies? Or none of the above? Are what the hell are Price Is Right rules? I’ll let you know tomorrow so those people who slack off at work get a chance.Empress – If you’ve been reading a while, you must know I ALREADY have a troll. My troll position is filled. If you want to be co-troll, you will have to negotiate with my existing troll to determine who can criticize what. The current troll won’t give up my pajamas, I am sure. Also, since you control the universe, I must ask a few questions:1. BNL doesn’t have a Best Song Grammy? WTF, Empress of the Universe?2. Why do people talk in the movies?3. What happens to the extra socks?4. Are you expanding, right now? Does it make you feel bloated?
Empress of the universe:It does not matter that someone else finally agrees with me after all this time. You have no idea how truly disgusting, how much of a cow and how heartless she really is. You are unable to speak to her apathetic, gross and embarassing decisions, thoughts and habits adequetly. Of course she is heartless, whiny, pitiful and miserable. She says so everyday in her piteous attempts at a blog site, it is apparent to all who read it. and, by the way, who are you to name yourself Empress of anything, much less the universe when you obviously have no clue? How disdainful and tastless. Oh well, I guess you are in the right place to be haughty and tasteless…afterall, this whole blog is, so why should your comments be excluded? Go find your own blog to spew on…bugger off, this one is taken.
Hey Troll, first, just to address your comment about this blog being tasteless- um, kettle, it’s me pot. Yea, um, YOU’RE BLACK.And also really quick question. Do you realize that reading this site is optional? There’s probably a small red box on the top right corner of your screen (or possible a small red circle on the top left corner if it’s a mac)- click on it and POOF, the page will go away.You are a special kind of retarded.
Everyone -Seven!