Gary was at the Big Lush Store at the Galleria tonight, buying some more Mother’s Day / Birthday presents for his Mom. Her birthday was in mid-April, and has been postponed for so many reasons that it’s now merging with Mother’s Day.
(On the topic of Mother’s Day, I was just on the phone with Dave tonight, and he agreed with me there are many mothers out there who suck and do not deserve to be alive. Mother’s Day is pissing us both off.)
At any rate, Gary is having a no-holds-barred volcanic gift eruption, including now three visits to Lush. Gary selected the few Lush products that have been beneath his radar. He sniffed for an hour or so while I chatted with the sales crew. I have it on their authority that there are some people in Saint Louis who eat the Lush products. One grown woman and one five-year-old boy. The boy likes the sandstone soap. I don’t know what soap or scrub the grown woman eats.
At any rate, we then went to dinner at the mall and I had the chopped salad, again – I think I can imagine a Mom chopping up the vegetables so they are all tiny and diced. It’s really so comforting.
At dinner he started totaling up all the stuff he bought his Mom, and suddenly looked up from the Lush receipt and asked, “What’s Gorgeous?”
(If you use Lush, you can stop reading. I think you know where this is going.)
“I don’t know,” I chewed, “You did all the shopping.”
“Well, there must be a mistake. I didn’t buy anything for $87.50.”
Hack! “One thing? For 87.50? No, one of those giant gift boxes must have been on the counter and they assumed it was ours.”
We walked back to the Lush store. I went up to the friendly sales guy (the one who told me about the Sandstone-eating Pica Boy) and demanded pleasantly, “What is Gorgeous, and why does it cost ninety bucks?”
He reached into our bag and pulled out the teeny tiny tub of Gorgeous, tucked in between all the $25 things. It was tucked in next to the $25 things at the store too, and for all of you who are screaming at a $25 tublet of moisturizer, much less $80 plus, know that Gary doesn’t look at prices when it comes to gifts.
I unscrewed the lid because I wanted to discover what $87.50 smelled like. Smells like cold cream. I checked the ingredients, I didn’t see “squid placenta” or anything exotic in there.
So, Gary has actually hit a limit on what he will buy for his Mom. He won’t spend $87.50 for 1.5 ounces of moisturizer. He returned it. When I got home I read some reviews on the Lush site. The one with the
32 year old who credited it for keeping her unwrinkled was pretty
funny. I started picturing Lush TV Ads with ten year olds cooing, “This
moisturizer keeps me wrinkle-free!”
11 responses to “Lush and the Loss Leaders”
Mother’s Day – milestone #1
I read “lush” and figured you were buying wine – lots and lots of wine. That’s what we’ve been doing.And I did have to snort at your “mothers who suck” crack. Ah yes.
What makes a moisturizer worth $87.50? Does it have little flecks of gold in it? Cocaine? I’m curious.
Friend #3 – As long as I dont read any greeting cards I’ll be fine.Magpie – I have SO much wine right now. I need to have wine-drinking friends over.Erin – I looked at the ingredients: Orange Blossom Honey Water (Mel, Aqua) – Mel?Olive Oil – not even virginStearic Acid – in every thingCold Pressed Evening Primrose Oil Cold Pressed Avocado Oil GlycerineCoconut Oil Fresh Lemon Juice – so the Avocado doesn’t turn brown. This is sounding a little like guacamole.Cold Pressed Wheatgerm Oil Fresh Orange Juice Cold Pressed Grapeseed Oil Fresh Pineapple Juice Orange Flower Absolute – okay, thats exotic.Neroli Oil Myrrh Resinoid – OKAY! Jesus’ bithday present.TriethanolamineCetearyl AlcoholEssential oilsPerfumeMethylparaben – Meth!Propylparaben
You want funny? See the Lush message board at the after Christmas/New Year’s Eve sale time when there’s a chance of getting Gorgeous half-price or even *gasp* free. It’s a scramble.No matter how wonderful the reviews, I refuse to get my face addicted to something that expensive. Btw, I think it’s all the cold-pressed oils, especially the flower ones–they’re hideously expensive.
Jammies – I keep looking at those ingredients and thinking, I could make that. I could put some rocks on an avocado. Certainly someone on the Lush board has access to an electron microscope or bio-chem equipment to do an analysis.
If I bring a bottle of Gorgeous with me, can I trade it for the wine?
I LOVE Gorgeous. But it’s pretty painful to buy. When I had the awesome guy who gave me all those samples he snuck in some Gorgeous and then when I went back to buy everything I had to buy in chunks…first the soap, with the toner, and the other moisturizer…and then back a few weeks later for the Gorgeous…it’s just that good. You just can’t buy anything else when you buy it cause it’ll make your wallet sad.
I’ve not succumbed to Gorgeous yet. Although I did buy some soap that doubles as for oily face and good for poison ivy. The worst part is my friend in Iraq has found they won’t ship to APO boxes so I “have to” go to the store and shop for her. It’s a burden I’m willing to bear for a friend!Hey, maybe we should have a pledge drive for the soldiers in Iraq but instead of money or movies we send Lush products!
Just curious, the ingredients list looks highly perishable. How quickly does that $90 moisturizer expire?
Candy – What a profit I would make, since the wine was all gifts.Autumn – See, that’s how the pushers work, they give out free samples on the playground.Amy – Cool! That is so 21st century.TasterSpoon – Lush does have perishable stuff they keep in a fridge and you have to use it in two weeks. This wasnt one, though.