Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: April 2008

  • Laundry

    This is me doing the laundry: 1. I put the clothing in the soapy water. 2. I run the washer. 3. I ignore the buzzer. 4. I read blogs. 5. I go to sleep. 6. I go to work. 7. I come home and think, “Duh. I forgot to take the clothes out of the…

  • How cute is this?

    How cute is this?

    I was looking through Mom’s old writings.   1. What struck me at first was that she signed it “Marge” instead of Margaret. In 1956, Mom was 20. 2. This particular short story was a narrative of how she and her roommate Nanci murdered their housemother. 3. Interestingly, she experimented a little with Margi. Note…

  • New Town

    We were interrogating the new co-worker. “Where do you live?” “Oh, off of Elm, by the river.” (Gasps of horror.) “Oh my God. You live in New Town.” “NO! NO, I don’t!” Whew, all said, and then commenced a group review of New Town. “Freaky.” “Weird. Just creeped me out.” “Like Stepford.” “Yeah.” “Like Stepford…

  • Post-its From the Great Beyond

    Post-its From the Great Beyond

    The day began with a huge fight with Gary. It’s my fault, I’ll often find that I’ll work something out in my head, make a decision, then Gary will submit to me all the same arguments I had worked through, and it’s frustrating, because shut up, shut up! I already thought that out. Just do…

  • From Latin miscellneus, from miscre: “to mix”

    I wasted a good deal of my day today watching VH1’s top 100 Songs of the 80’s. I didn’t listen to music in the 80’s.* That’s probably why I didn’t recognize the #1 song: Living On a Prayer by Bon Jovi. Kind of pissed me off since I waited four hours for it. I was…

  • Wattle Watch ’08: Stress Wattle

    Wattle Watch ’08: Stress Wattle

    The wattle in retreat:

  • Hospice by the Numbers: Part 3

    Number you dial to report a claim on Mom’s life insurance: 1-800-628-8600. Yes. 86 again. These people are sick. And you just know they all think they’re being so original. ======================================= If you have a sex dream about your Mom, she’ll die 35 days later, like in The Ring. Like The Ring if it starred…

  • I Could Snort Them Like That Stones Drummer

    I Could Snort Them Like That Stones Drummer

    While Mom’s instructions said specifically that she be cremated AND the funeral home should dispose of the ashes, the funeral home refused and we now have a plastic box of Mom that needs to be disposed of. I have a few options. 1. Botanical Tribute Dad’s ashes were buried under an azalea. (An aside: as…

  • The Stuff. My God, the Stuff.

    Before I begin, know that I sound very materialistic in this post. I can assure you that I am feeling the appropriate guilt and grief over Mom’s recent daughter-assisted suicide. I’m just sick of thinking of it. (Of course, I could stop thinking about it if I stopped listening to music. It’s just like breaking…

  • The Wake: Part the Second

    The Wake: Part the Second

    One of my favorite parts of the Wake was when people stepped up and told me things about Mom that everyone knows: she was smart, funny, never complained, and a great writer. And then Mom’s friend Martha stepped up with some information that wasn’t widely known, the Story of Mom and Dad. (I knew the…