The Meth Family Whiners have been replaced by a nice, quiet Catholic Lady.
I heard her on the phone. “Oh, my roommate is a young girl. She was hurt in some kind of accident. It’s terrible, really. I feel quite sorry for her.”
Okay, I thought, why is New Roommate lying to her friends? Like, is this some Munchhausen’s Roommate by Proxy illness?
Later, I poked my head behind the her curtain and asked to borrow a chair. She said yes, and asked me how old my daughter was. “Ummm…you mean my Mom? She’s seventy-one.” And then I thought, well, yeah, she can’t hear Mom, because she’s too short of breath. All she hears is me making fun of Mom.
“What’s that? Shoes? Shoes coal? Coal in your shoes? Christmas? Shoes cold? Your shoes are cold. Oh! Your shoulder’s cold! Water, Helen, w-a-t-e-r!”
So, yeah. that would suck if I were Mom’s mom.
7 responses to “The Hospital: Day 3”
AHAHAHA. “Water, Helen! W-A-T-E-R!” will never get old. EVER. and now I have the Helen Keller episode of South Park in my head. Thanks!
So if she didn’t know it was your mother, how did she know what had happened to her?I’m sure she’ll say a Hail Mary for both of you.
I hope her shoes warm up soon, that sounds like an awful predicament. Make sure and make reference to the Vatican 2 reforms as much as possible. Catholics love that.
Hope you all get info, answers, effective treatment, good drugs, cookies, no roommates, and the hell out of the hospital soon.
Catherine – Mom laughed too.Caroline – She doesn’t know. I think she heard part of “polio since she was thirteen” and thinks it was a polo accident.Katie – Well, I would, but we are trying to keep out of roomie business. She is doing a good job of giving us our privacy.Vaguely – Well, there is cake. Mom was demanding chocolate cake tonight until she realized she was overloaded with Carbon dioxide.
One moment you have my teary-eyed and the next you have me laughing. I hope you get a diagnosis soon and that the Queen Mom is soon on the road to recovery — and maybe you can travel that road in the helicopter?
Dingo – (Hi Dingo!) What I really like is that you did what I would have done, responded before things took a tragic turn. I like that about you a lot.