Gone are the days of the Girl’s Sabbath Out and the Mormon Inquisition Night, now are the days of Multi-Purpose Girl’s Night Out: MPGNO. These GNO’s are more spontaneous and there is less menu-planning. As it turned out, “out” was the operative word.
First off, we started …
out. Usually, we’ve been celebrating in the safety of Marcia’s beautifully appointed condominium, but instead we met at Madison’s Cafe, where they make mixed drinks that made me wonder why I brought my Breathalyzer. We discussed our lives after Elliot, primarily, and caught up with old friends, until the hideous song stylings of the live music drove us …
out. It was just a one-man show with a guitar. Then at some point I heard a secondary guitar, and I thought, “Hey, he’s playing the chords and the melody. I wonder if he’s using the Carter Family Fingering method. I just bought a DVD to learn how to do that.” I stared hard at him until I noticed he had a whole backup band tucked away in a boom box. Then I noticed he did stuff like wiping his nose during the guitar solos, and yet the solo continued. It was awful, and it was loud, and it drove us …
out of our minds. And then, someone suggested we carry on at Marcia’s. That someone was not Marcia. This did not matter. We drove to Marcia’s anyway. In honor of Cowboy Mouth deciding to come to Ribfest on Memorial Day, I blasted “The Love of My Life” very loud with the speakers down on the way there. The Conversation at Marcia’s centered on the story of the woman would wouldn’t come …
out of the bathroom for two years. That story distresses me so much. In short, a woman went in the bathroom and wouldn’t come for for two years. (I read elsewhere there were two bathrooms.) Every day her boyfriend asked her to come out, every day she said “Maybe tomorrow.” She didn’t stay seated all the time, except for the last month when something went wrong with her legs, and she ended up with an infection, and couldn’t get off the toilet seat, so it somehow integrated with her skin and had to be pried up and go with her to the hospital. Now they’re flapping about prosecuting the boyfriend. I have to wonder, if she’d spent two years lying in bed with depression, then got bedsores, would anyone be up in arms? So, we talked about that, but more interesting were Friend #0.5’s tales of being …
out on the lesbian scene in Saint Louis. I feel for her. All those girls want to do is cuddle! And have a relationship! And taaaaaaaaalk. It made me quite happy I wasn’t made a lesbian. I would have no patience. Of course, I have no patience for typical guys, either. She needs a lesbian version of Gary, I think.
Peace out.
7 responses to “MPGNO”
Okay, I know it’s a bad joke, but it’s one I can really relate to…in a hetero, non-lesbian way…What do two Lesbians do on the first date?Move in together.
I read the old blogs and I feel better that you had an inquisition for Gracquel, Marica, and Stacey. But you forgot to mention the gay inquisition you guys had for me on MY first GNO.This time wasn’t near as bad…thanks for the sympathies too.
Becs – That was pretty funny, in a hetero, non-hostile way, in that it is mocking women in general. But I’m betting #0.5 has heard it before.#0.5 – Well, YEAH, I couldn’t say “And then we had ‘Intro to Lesbians 101 GNO’ when you had cautioned us that Elliot was a conservative company and I have this fear all the management at Elliot reads the blog daily.
I gotta admit, I don’t get the joke.#0.5, there was a GNO that was intended for me, too, but another (infrequent) guest ended up taking over the honors. I just sat on the couch and drank.
I read that story on Sizzle… and was shocked beyond belief. Which, just for the record, isn’t easy to do! Oh…but then I remember your last post. Nevermind.
Queen…good point. But now I’m safe at US Bank. 🙂 And yes, I’ve heard that joke 100 million times.Caroline…consider yourself lucky!!
Caroline – Sigh. It’s just that, you know how women jump into commitments? And men don’t? Sigh. Jokes are so unfunny when you have to explain them.Sue – aHA! I have topped the Bathroom Lady.#0.5 – We would have a Short People GNO, except it would be: “So, what’s it like being short? Where do you buy such tiny clothes?”